A Glitchhead's Guide to Surviving on Earth
by tyrantqueenofcons
Summary: Feel like living with Decepticons? Here is a simple rule book on how to...um...live.
1. Rules 1 to 16

Greetings! It is I, Jazzi Flynn. I decided to write (yet another) Guidebook story. This was inspired by _Guidelines to Living with Decepticons _by Deception is Decepticon (Which if you haven't, you should read it…now) It's from the POV of my OC Azure (a.k.a. Tyrant). She is a certain 'Con's daughter. I won't say who because I'm evil and when you read it you'll find out.

**Disclaimer:** Any Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Dreamworks and Paramount. This fiction is intended for entertainment purposes only. The only character I own is Tyrant. Tai belongs to Tatyana Witwicky who allowed me to use her in this. The fact that it's from the 'Con view I don't own that idea either.

**A Glitchhead's Guide to Surviving Earth **

A Warning to all Decepticons, there's a new girl in town. Her name is Tyrant. In order to survive dealing with said Techno Organic, please refer to the following rules.

Your very lives depend on it.

**Rule 1:** Don't assume that because I'm a Techno Organic, I'm weak.

(Starscream learnt the hard way)

(I hog tied him in 60 seconds)

(All the 'Cons avoid me now)

(Especially when I start eyeing the ropes)

**Rule 2:** Under no circumstances should anyone rearrange the furniture in the Rec Room.

(How the couch ended up on the ceiling no one knows)

(Though Frenzy and Rumble mysterious "disappeared" for a few days)

(Yeah, don't even ask)

**Rule 3:** Don't question Soundwave.

(He can see right through you)

(It doesn't help that he can read minds)

(I can't get away with stuff just because my father is the leader)

**Rule 4:** If anyone wants to get away with anything, leave the state, better yet the country.

(However, remember, they can hunt you down)

(I ran away and hitchhiked to Texas)

(Barricade tracked me down within twenty four hours)

**Rule 5:** Laughing maniacally is not the greatest thing to do.

(Even the Decepticons can get scared)

(Not to mention it makes you look more insane than before)

(Blackout questioned my sanity when he saw me alone)

(MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

**Rule 6: **Never attempt to leech off the NEST government budget.

(Galloway practically had a fit and began accusing people left, right and centre)

(At least that's what I heard)

(I almost got away with it)

(Except when _I _got the bill)

(How they knew where to send it was beyond me)

**Rule 7: **Don't provoke my two personalities.

(For the most part I can control it)

("DIE PUNY ORGANICS!")

(Or maybe not)

**Rule 8: **Dad has a reputation to maintain.

(He doesn't like to admit things)

("So, do you love me?")

(He just glared.)

(I ran away)

**Rule 9: **The film Despicable Me has been banned from the base.

(Apparently the 'Cons just don't understand cuteness)

(Or why a great villian would convert to the good side)

("IT'S SO FLUFFY!")

(I have it on my Itouch…hee hee)

**Rule 10: **Don't shoot the traitors.

(Apparently they're cheap and useful)

(I don't see why we still need Starscream)

(I promised that I wouldn't kill him)

(Just leave him incapacitated)

**Rule 11: **I have a time limit when I visit Diego Garcia

(Galloway wants me bani-shed for good)

(I wouldn't push it dude)

(I'm a Decepticon)

(I can shoot you and get away with it)

**Rule 12: **Warn the 'Cons before you change your appearance

(Why they didn't notice me just because I dyed my hair blue beats me)

(I knew those mechs were stupid)

(It wasn't any better when Thundercracker discovered my tattoo)

(The tattoo consisted of a Spark drawn in the same fashion as a broken heart with the words "It's a hate-love thing")

(Dad actually was OK with it)

(He's awesome when he's not trying to kill people/Cons/Autobots)

**Rule 13: **Don't even think about destroying my bookshelf.

(I managed to get all the 'Cons rounded up and standing in a straight line)

(It might have something to do with the fact that I yell really loudly)

(Or the part where they know I will inflict serious damage)

**Rule 14: **The Almighty Fallen is not to be trifled with.

(When I was asked to spy on some NEST soldiers I replied: "You have the cool powers, you do it!")

(I was grounded for three weeks)

(Kind of amazed it wasn't three months)

(or years)

**Rule 15: **Just because Dad only picks on Starscream, does not mean they are together.

(I do not want that freak as my "mom")

(Dad's reaction to that speculation was terrifying)

(I think I cried a little)

(No one comforted me that night)

**Rule 16: **In regards to holidays, please warn everyone beforehand.

(Something about a fuzzy bunny breaking into the base made everyone mad)

(They assumed it was an Autobot spy)

(However, the 'Cons really enjoy Halloween)

(I wonder why?)

* * *

OK, I think I overdid it. xD Oh well. Whaddya think?


	2. Rules 17 to 34

**Wow. People love this story. I feel so happy! xD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything but Tyrant. **

**

* * *

**

**Rule 18: **When watching 'Date Night' make sure no one's around.

(The part where the Audi R8 falls into the ocean didn't go well with Sideways)

(I proceeded to tell him that Audi R8's get destroyed in every movie I've seen one in)

(He was ready to murder me)

(Apparently my 'status' doesn't give me that much immunity)

(I hastily booked it outta the room)

**Rule 19: **If I'm watching Big Bang Theory, don't turn it off.

(I let out a rather bloody murder scream)

(This was followed by the sounds of mechs being beaten senselessly)

**Rule 20: **I can't listen to Katy Perry anymore.

(The song "Peacock" disturbed everyone)

(I've never seen Soundwave convey so much emotion)

(Seriously, never.)

**Rule 21: **Don't draw on the walls with a Sharpie.

(I was incredibly bored)

(So I drew a bunch of calligraphy on the Rec Room walls)

(When Shockwave walked by he thought I was on crack)

("What narcotics did you ingest?")

(I responded simply by sticking my tongue out and flipping him off)

**Rule 22: **Don't put me and Tai in the same room for a long period of time.

(I kept switching between my two personalities)

(One minute we're arguing the next I'm arguing with myself)

(Tai collapsed to the floor and laughed hysterically)

(I gave her the "Glare of Death")

**Rule 23: **Never name the "signature moves" of 'Cons or Autobots.

(The Megatron Choke Hold)

(Ironhide Glare)

(Starscream Retreat)

(I said the second one during a skirmish between Skywarp and Ironhide)

(I received said Glare)

**Rule 24: **Just because the song is highly annoying, does not give anyone permission to torture everyone with it.

(Somebody (I won't say who) decided it was a good idea to have "It's a Small World" play on repeat throughout the base)

(Needless to say, it made Soundwave's processor crash)

(and Starscream's)

(And pretty much everyone else)

(I was the only survivor)

**Rule 25: **Be careful how much sugar I'm allowed to have

(I ended up in a fit of hysterical laughter)

(Even Blitzwing thought I was nuts)

(And he's got three personalities!)

**Rule 26: **Speaking of Blitzwing, he thinks I'm awesome.

(But that's because I have multiple personality disorder)

(Not my fault)

(It's hereditary)

(Love you Dad!)

**Rule 27: **Don't act psychotic, hyper or in any way "abnormal"

(Scalpel is not the world's greatest doctor)

("I am ninety perzent positeeve zere ees notzing vrong vith 'er!")

(What about the other 10%?)

(He removed my lip and eyebrow piercings in case I was 'poisoned' by the metal in them)

(I was not pleased)

(Let's just say the Doctor needs a doctor now)

**Rule 28: **Try not to provoke Starscream in anyway.

(His ultimate goal to overthrow Dad just exceeds his desire to get rid of me)

(Why he hasn't succeed is questionable)

**Rule 29: **Don't rattle off useless trivia

(Did you know sheep snore?)

(Chewing gum is banned in Singapore)

(Baby carrots aren't actually "baby carrots")

**Rule 30: **Don't quote the Big Bang Theory, more precisely, Sheldon Cooper.

("I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.")

(Yeeaahhh, that'salie)

("That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.")

(I said this to Starscream when he was annoyed)

(He looked tempted to throttle me)

**Rule 31: **I have to keep Lithium (my bearded dragon) away from the 'Cons at all times.

(Starscream really hates it when Lithium crawls into his circuitry)

(The only thing that could possibly be a good comparison would be if a mouse was crawling up my shirt)

(He almost squished her)

(In order to stop him from doing so I said "If you do that, all the nasty organic stuff will drip all over you!")

(I have never seen him freeze so fast!)

**Rule 32: **No, I do not have a "Sarcasm" sign!

(However it would really come in handy)

(Especially when Bonecrusher and I argue)

("No, I just like to be tied to a wall and used as target practice!")

(His expression was too creepy for comfort)

**Rule 33: **Glow-in-the-dark slime is not a good thing

(It may not show up in bright light…)

(But trying imagining a glow clawed hand coming at you during the night…)

**Rule 34: **Don't go around singing "Sweet Little Bumblebee"

(The title offends the 'Cons)

(It's not about Bumblebee)

(No matter how cute he is!)


	3. Rules 35 to 52

Wow, this is better than I thought. So glad people like it!

By the way, I'm open to suggestions.

Disclaimer: I only own Tyrant and Lithium.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Rule 35: **All manga cannot leave my room

(I still don't know what all the fuss was about)

(It was just Fullmetal Alchemist)

(Maybe it had something to do with Ed's "short rants")

**Rule 36: **"Would you like some more...pancakes?"

(It freaked out the Casseticons)

(Soundwave ranted at me for eight hours straight)

(I didn't do it! They looked it up!)

**Rule 37: **Just because you're in trouble doesn't mean you should protest

("What's next Warden? I'm innocent I tell you!")

(My pleas for mercy were ignored)

**Rule 38: **Do not mimick anyone's voices.

(I think my impression of Frenzy was pretty awesome)

(Then again, it's just constant babbling)

**Rule 39: **Hide all the coffee

(How was I supposed to know they'd find it?)

(I hid it in the floor boards)

("Dang, it just wasn't good enough")

**Rule 40: **Never, ever, try to outsmart Shockwave

(That silent façade is nothing, nothing I tell you!)

**Rule 41: **In regards to Trample and Tread, don't go around insulting them.

(You insult one, you get the raging tornado)

(Apparently they are the only ones allowed to insult each other)

(Dumbafts)

**Rule 42: **If it looks like a duck, acts like a duck, it's a duck

(How hard is that?)

(You can't question logic!)

**Rule 43: **Never attempt to fly

(I fell from a height of 60 ft)

(I have bruises on my bruises)

(Why nobody stopped me, I really don't know)

**Rule 44: **Never say the following during an Autobot attack

("You angered the Sky gods again!")

("I think I'm just gonna…run…now")

("You know what; I'll leave that to you")

("He's in charge, ask him!")

**Rule 45: **'Cons have standards too.

(Barricade actually twitched violently when I showed up wearing a bright neon mini skirt)

(Starscream…screamed…loudly…)

(I think I'm deaf in one ear now)

**Rule 46: **Never let me anywhere near the Energon

(I managed to make it explode…)

(..all over Dad)

(He gave a that _look _and I went to my room)

**Rule 47: **No human male is allowed on the base

(Poor Matthew)

(He never saw it coming)

**Rule 48: **Don't mess up my room

(I had another one of my infamous fits of rage)

(Brawl was asking for it)

(I regret nothing)

(Dad was pleased)

(yes!)

**Rule 49: **The following is banned from the base:

(Spray paint)

(Knives)

(Stickers)

(Cauliflower)

(-.-'It's a long story)

**Rule 50: **Don't try reprogramming Starscream

(I don't know how I did it)

(But suddenly he was…nice)

(I'm scarred for life)

(That smile was terrifying)

**Rule 51: **Don't make me mad during "My Time"

(I just about offlined Frenzy)

(He danced around me chanting random gibberish)

(I snapped)


	4. Rules 53 to 68

**Disclaimer: **I own only Tyrant and Lithium

* * *

**Rule 52: **No animal imitations!

(Blitzwing actually crashed)

(I just made a squawking noise…)

(Huh? Guess it worked)

**Rule 53: **Don't try sneaking off the base at night

(There are sensors everywhere)

(The heat seeking missiles didn't really help much)

(I'm lucky to be alive!)

**Rule 54: **Don't give me a gun

(I missed Bonecrusher's Spark by a millimeter)

(He's alive)

(Unfortunately)

**Rule 55: **No using any 'Con to intimidate people.

(The look on that person's face was priceless!)

(I was grounded again)

(But it was worth it)

(I got a cookie)

**Rule 56: **Don't mock my humanness

(I don't know why I'm not a robot!)

(Stop asking me Tread!)

**Rule 57: **Don't try to avoid Dad

(He found me in the air ducts)

(My punishment was I had to go everywhere with him)

(I'm not sure if that was a pleasant experience)

**Rule 58: **No using the main computer for entertainment purposes

(I was just checking my email!)

(And watching random YouTube videos)

(I was supposed to be writing these rules)

**Rule 59: **Never ask any 'Con to do my homework

(My teacher was suspicious due to the Cybertronian glyphs)

(STARSCREAM!)

("You failed me yet again")

**Rule 60: **Don't paint the walls with magnetic paint

(I walked into the Rec room to find a message)

(It said 'Organics are insects)

(Well, it would have…if Frenzy could spell properly)

(Ohrganix ar insex)

**Rule 61: **Don't hang or sit on the rafters

(The ceiling is at least 50 ft high)

(I waved at Thundercracker as he walked in)

(I think I broke him)

**Rule 62: **No sneaking into Dad's quarters

(He's a light recharger)

(I knocked something over)

(There's a huge burn mark on the wall now)

**Rule 63: **Popcorn is banned from the base

(I protested against this)

(However when I was told why…)

(_Starscream _of all mechs, decided to fill the Rec room with kernels)

(He almost died that day)

**Rule 64: **Don't alter my playlist!

(My Itouch has nothing but techno on it now)

(I don't mind)

(But when there are 500 songs…)

**Rule 65: **No trying to imitate accents

(I tried British and failed)

(Blackout said I sounded like a mouse)

(I stabbed him with my sword)

**Rule 66: **Don't do something you can't

(Bonecrusher you cannot blow up my mind!)

(No matter how hard you try!)

**Rule 67: **When I'm hungry, don't hide the food

(I know it was you Trample!)

(Don't deny it)

**Rule 68: **I am not allowed to sleep in Dad's room

(He has this tendency to twitch)

(His claws)

(I was almost killed again)


	5. Rule 50

All righty!

This chapter is a small little one shot explaining Rule 50, more precisely, the cauliflower because **supergirlprime** asked me to elaborate

**Rule 50: The following is banned from the base:**

**(Spray paint)**

**(Knives)**

**(Stickers)**

**(Cauliflower)**

**(It's a long story) **

**Disclaimer: **I only own Tyrant and Lithium. I don't own Transformers or Angry Birds (which by the way is really addictive).

* * *

The base was quiet, too quiet.

That in itself was unusual as the Decepticons were anything _but _quiet. So it was in this bizarre silence that Tyrant was completely and utterly bored. She had quickly grown bored of doing the homework that was due the next day turning towards her Itouch instead. Said homework lay shoved underneath the desk situated in the corner of the room in a neat pile. The Techno Organic lay on her side, engrossed in the game on the tiny screen. She irritatingly flicked a strand of black hair out of her eyes, muttering to herself.

"Come on you stupid bird. Don't miss this time!"

It was pretty useless willing the miniscule birds on screen to just _hit _the green pig things but it gave Tyrant something to blame. She pulled the slingshot back with a manicured finger and released. The bird flew through the air before smashing into the wooden structures below.

"Yes!" Tyrant exclaimed. She watched as four green pigs disappeared. Her victory was cut short as she realized two large pigs were still standing.

"For the fraggin` love of cheese sticks!" she cursed shutting off the device and shoving it underneath the pillow. She rolled on her back and stared at the ceiling.

"I'm bored…" she said in a dull voice. For a moment she listened. For anything, any noise. The thundering of footsteps, the ticking of a clock, anything!

Nothing happened. "How can a base full of giant robots be so damn quiet?" Tyrant wondered sitting up. She tapped her fingers on the edge of the bed before making up her mind. With a sigh Tyrant stood up and walked towards the ladder a little ways away. Such things were needed when one lived with giant sentient robots whose heights exceeded twenty feet. She hastily climbed down and landed with a thud on the steel floor. Tyrant raced towards the closet and yanked the door open.

"What shoes to wear?" she murmured, gnawing on her fingernail. She eyed a pair of black boots with buckles on the sides. "Definitely these ones."

After putting on the boots, Tyrant walked through the human sized door. The hallway was empty. _I hope Soundwave isn't spying on me again. _She thought icily as she made her way down the corridor. She was lucky the place had enough lights for her to see. The 'Cons were perfectly ok with the 'creepy lair' look but Tyrant had insisted there be better lighting saying "You have night vision. I don't."

Just when she thought the place couldn't be more deserted, two silvery blurrs ran passed her, cackling like maniacs. They would have passed had Tyrant not reached out and snagged them by their necks.

"What are you two doing?" She said, crossing her arms over her Skelanimals t-shirt.

Frenzy and Rumble looked up at her with identical looks of mischief in their optics.

"We're gonna shoot human planes!" Rumble exclaimed.

Tyrant raised an eyebrow. "Shoot down planes?" she deadpanned. "With what may I ask?" In truth she didn't really want to know.

Frenzy held up something huge and white. "Th-This!" he said proudly.

Tyrant's eyes widened in disbelief, it was a cauliflower. "You're shooting cauliflower at planes?" she shook her head. Last time they did something this stupid; the government practically swooped down and nearly caught them. Not to say she was involved or anything…

The twins nodded in excitement. "You do realize if _anyone _catches you, you're slagged to the Pit and back again."

Her words didn't faze them one bit.

* * *

Several minutes later…

Tyrant could not believe she was doing this. The twins had somehow managed to steal a pumpkin launcher and were shooting cauliflower at not planes, but anything that flew. Poor little finch didn't know what hit him.

"You know, for Decepticons you two can be very stupid." She muttered under her breath. _This is a 'little harmless fun'. Yeah, suicidal harmless fun. _

The two 'Cons didn't hear her speak. They were too busy aiming the launcher at things.

"T-ten points!" Frenzy yelled raising his clawed hands in the air. He had just hit another crow.

"No slaggin' way. Crows are five points dumbaft!" Rumble protested.

Frenzy sneered at his brother. "N-No, c-crows ten points!"

Tyrant could sense another brawl coming but stood back this time. Last time she got involved with their arguments she ended up with her arm nearly ripped off. The scars proved it.

Rumble leapt at Frenzy shrieking in Cybertronian. They began snarling and cursing each other as they tried to pummel each other. Needless to say neither noticed the lever they hit. Tyrant dove behind a nearby tree as the five cauliflowers exploded into the air. Amazingly, neither Frenzy nor Rumble realized, their attention elsewhere. The cauliflower sailed through the air, hitting something with an unpleasant _smoosh! _This was followed by a loud angry curse.

"Hee hee hee…" Tyrant whispered. Starscream came tearing out of the trees covered in the pulpy remains of the vegetables dripping from his chasis.

"YOU TWO ARE SO FRAGGED WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU!"

This was enough to make the twins stop fighting. They glanced up to see the enraged Air Commander stomped towards them.

"RUN!" Rumble exclaimed scampering away with Frenzy hot on his heels.

Tyrant huddled against the broad tree trunk, tears of energon streaming down her face from laughing so hard.

"Can't breath. Can't breathe!" she shrieked hysterically.

She could hear Starscream cursing the twins to kingdom come, the ground vibrating with heavy footfalls.

"WHERE ARE YOU LITTLE FREAKS?"

Tyrant wiped her eyes and peered out from her hiding spot. No sign of Screamer. She was just about to turn around when she heard a voice above her.

"Where do you think you're going?"

She looked up to see Starscream standing with his arms crossed glaring down at her.

"What's it to ya?" she snapped, mimicking his actions.

The Air Commander glowered at the Techno Organic. "You were in on this weren't you?" he demanded, pieces of cauliflower flying at Tyrant. She jumped aside as a particularly large hunk landed at her feet.

"Watch where you're flinging that!" she hissed.

"You have five seconds." Was all the mech said.

Tyrant did a 360 and bolted towards the base.


	6. Rules 69 to 85

Warning, Rule 77 has something to do with _Dark of the Moon_ (It has nothing to do with the plot)

Disclaimer: All Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and Dreamworks. The lyrics to Katy Perry's _Hot n' Cold _and the Hedley's _For the Nights I Can't Remember _are not mine either. I only own Tyrant and Lithium. Rule 73 was suggested by **supergirlprime**. (although I might have changed it a bit) The characters Trample and Tread are from _Veiled Threat _the "prequel" novelization to Revenge of the Fallen.

* * *

**Rule 69: **Be careful what you sing aloud

(I ended up saying "You PMS like a bitch" to Starscream)

(I said "I do, wanna love you" to Blackout)

(Starscream wanted to murder me)

(Blackout was stunned)

**Rule 70: **Don't suggest painting any 'Con a different colour

(I wanted to paint Barricade yellow)

(He said it reminded him too much of Bumblebee)

(I pouted and moved onto Skywarp)

(Who said yes. O.O)

**Rule 71: **Don't say the following 'catchphrases'

("If you're in my sights you're already dead")

("I am the destroyer of worlds")

("Fear and Calamity are my brothers now!")

**Rule 72: **Don't let Ravage near house cats

(He was jealous of the attention I wasn't giving him)

(So he tried to do away with the poor thing)

(Needless to say he didn't succeed)

**Rule 73: **Don't watch YouTube videos unless you're alone

(The videos of athletes getting clobbered scare the Casseticons)

(Fred makes Skywarp cringe at his voice)

(Jackass in Mianus didn't go so well either)

**Rule 74: **Don't draw giant arrows on the ground to use as directions

(It's amazing how lost I can get in the base)

(I ended up on the other side)

(In the shooting range)

**Rule 75: **Don't piss off Thunderblast

(She's a first class bee-otch)

(She also wants my Dad)

(Good luck with that Femme!)

**Rule 76: **Don't ask why Dad's alt form is a truck

(I said, "Isn't that what Prime is?")

(Dad gave me the scariest expression)

(I ran away screaming)

(Then my dark personality kicked in)

(We had a heated 'argument')

**Rule 77: **Don't glue antlers to Ravage while he's recharging

(He couldn't get them off)

(Everyone calls him 'Rudolph' now)

**Rule 78: **Don't show fear

(Soundwave will point it out)

(Then everyone will laugh at you)

(Damn you Soundwave!)

**Rule 79: **If I'm doing homework, leave me alone

(I lodged a pencil in Ramjet's optic)

(At first I laughed)

(But I needed something to write with)

**Rule 80: **The song 'Tic Toc' is banned

(Something about the repetition of 'Tic Toc' annoys them)

(Tic Toc, Tic, Tic Toc, Tic Toc, Tic, Tic Toc…)

(hee hee hee)

**Rule 81: **Don't scream whenever a 'Con enters your room

(Oh I don't think anyone will be doing that again)

(I might have given myself a headache)

(Ah, whatever)

**Rule 82: **Don't screw up my laptop!

(My desktop now shows a picture of Dad)

(He looks angry)

(Then again he always looks like that)

(But nevertheless I screamed and threw my laptop across the room)

(It broke…)

**Rule 83: **Charlie the Unicorn is banned from the base

(I ran around yelling "SHUN THE NON BELIEVER!" to anyone I came across)

(Soundwave is convinced I'm mental)

(When he said that I replied, "Oh really? Took you long enough.")

**Rule 84: **Indiana Jones is banned from the base

(Dad was convinced he knew where the Ark was)

(I gawked at him)

("There's a reason it's called 'lost' Dad!")

**Rule 85: **Never eat gummy worms in front of the 'Cons

(They thought it was real)

(I want my gummy worms damn it!)

**Rule 86: **If there's no emergency, don't bug the 'Cons

(I've been dubbed the 'Girl who Cried Wolf')

(But I really was in trouble)

(I couldn't find my credit card)

* * *

Wow, 83 rules. I'm on a roll here! xD


	7. Rules 86 to 102

Wow…16 reviews. I know it doesn't seem like much too some people but for me it's a big deal.

Disclaimer: All Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks. This story is for entertainment purposes only; I make no money off of this. However, I own Tyrant and Lithium. Tai belongs to Tatyana Witwicky, who does indeed put the WIT in Witwicky. The song "Tic Toc" (**not** by Ke$ha) is not mine either.

* * *

**Rule 87: **While on the Nemesis, DO NOT TOUCH ANYTHING

(I started poking one of the gestation pods)

(This goopy stuff sprayed all over me)

(I swore in seven languages)

(When Dad found out, he made me sit in the corner)

**Rule 88: **All anime is now restricted to my room

(Starscream likes Sailor Moon)

(He wouldn't stop saying "In the name of the moon I shall punish you!")

(Don't get me started on Hamtaro)

**Rule 89: **Don't approach a random mech and say "You bastard, you broke my Spark!"

(Some took this literally)

(I laughed maniacally when Dad shot Thundercracker)

(Sideways move away from me)

**Rule 90: **Don't imitate Dad

(I personally think I deserve recognition for this)

(The 'Cons were terrified)

(And amazed that I could be so nasty)

(You have no idea…)

**Rule 91: **No kissing the 'Cons in their alt modes

(I was really happy)

(So I kissed Barricade's steering wheel)

(He enjoyed it)

(O_O)

**Rule 92: **Don't rattle off the times of TV shows

(Dad thinks it's dumb that I know when Spongebob is on, but I never remember to clean my room)

(What can I say?)

(I remember 'important' things)

**Rule 93: **It's not stealing if I'm paying for it

(While shopping I started eating the Oreos)

('Cade lectured me)

(I threw a cookie at him)

**Rule 94: **No skipping classes

(I got caught by Ironhide)

(He "persuaded" me to get back to school)

(Yeah, yeah, yeah)

**Rule 95: **Don't sing the 'Song that never ends' or 'The song that gets on everyone's nerves'

(I got put on house arrest til I calmed down)

(There are several dents in the walls)

**Rule 96: **Inform someone before you paint your room

(I painted my room red)

(BRIGHT red)

(It generated its own reflection)

**Rule 97: **Don't make fun of my boots

(I like the fuzziness)

(Skywarp calls me Sergeant Fuzzy Boots)

(That's a cat dumbaft!)

**Rule 98: **Be careful what you say

(My hand is killing me!)

(I think my brain's gonna explode)

(It is just me or…[fill in the blanks])

(It was just me…)

**Rule 99: **Don't mock Devastator

(There's 6 of him)

(He can crush me)

(I was stalked by a cement mixer and a truck all day)

**Rule 100: **Don't slam doors viciously

(Something fell over)

(It was my bookshelf)

(Damn it!)

**Rule 101: **The following songs are not to be played within audio range

(Caramelldansen) (Damn it Tai!)

(Butterfly)

(Sweet Little Bumblebee) (Hasn't this been discussed?)

(Curse you Soundwave!)

**Rule 102: **No mouse traps

(Ravage does a better job)

(I just wish he'd stop showing me though)

* * *

I've never had so much inspiration before! xD Ah, I love this.

**OK, because people keep asking me about this, I will tell you now. **

**In regards to a possible story involving Tyrant, I'm still thinking it through. I might have to wait until this fic is finished before I consider writing anything else. So, with that in mind, there will possibly be a story in the future. For now, I'm writing this Guide. **


	8. Rules 103 to 125

I'm in the middle of revamping this story as there were repeats so it might look a bit confusing. **  
**

* * *

**Rule 103: **Speaking of songs, Technologic is _not _to be used to improve working habits

(Repetitive lyrics are enough to kill the 'Cons)

(It makes me zone out)

(Shockwave thinks he can brainwash people with it)

(Don't you dare!)

**Rule 104: **Tron Legacy is banned from the base

(I was very angry that day)

(Nobody messes with Tron)

(I wanted a light suit)

(Dad said no)

(I sulked all day)

**Rule 105: **Don't do anything stupid

(The halls are rigged with tiny cameras)

(Soundwave sees all)

(I disabled the one I found in my closet)

(PERV!)

**Rule 106: **Don't act like Bellatrix Lestrange

(For obvious reasons)

(Barricade avoids me now)

(My laugh echoed through the base)

**Rule 107: **Don't quote League of Super Evil

"It's an indescribable awfulness wrapped in horrifying cellophane of terror!" (Interdimensional travel sucks)

"Germs can talk?" (No, no they can't)

"What was it like on the other side?" (This can be interpreted in different ways)

"I have a hench my hunchman is up to something." (Isn't it supposed to be henchman?)

"I don't need a piece of paper to prove myself. I'm already supreme master of evil." (Yeah, we know Dad, we know) (You're evil…blah, blah, blah)

**Rule 108: **Never suggest a road trip

(It's not me who gets bored)

(Imagine the car complaining)

(No, we are not there yet!)

**Rule 109: **No touching my hair

(I came home with cornrows once)

(Frenzy insisted on flicking the braids)

(I took them out after a week)

**Rule 110: **Don't use excessive details

(It festered until the flesh was a flaky, charred black)

(It makes the 'Cons sick)

(So you can tear an Autobot to pieces but you can't hear me discuss nasty injuries?)

**Rule 111: **Don't attempt alchemy

(I clapped my hands together and touched the wall)

(Nothing happened)

(Darn, I wanted a secret door!)

**Rule 112 : **Don't piss off Ravage

(He decided to become my cat)

(I got used to it)

(But whenever he rubs my leg I jump)

**Rule 113: **Lithium is not to be neglected

(She tends to eye my fingers when not fed properly)

(It's almost happened before)

(I have the marks)

**Rule 114: **Don't change the clocks in the base

(I changed them four hours ahead)

(Blackout panicked about missing his 11 O'clock hair appointment)

(You don't have hair!)

**Rule 115:** No chibi allowed on base or the Nemesis

(I drew a Chibi Ravage)

(The 'Cons I showed shrieked)

(Guess it's a good thing they haven't seen the one of Optimus huh?)

**Rule 116: **Never steal signs from buildings

(So far I've got the McDonald's M, a Wal-Mart sign, two Targets and one from Starbucks)

(No one knows how I did it)

(It shall remain that way)

**Rule 117: **Avoid me when I'm sick

(Lugnut was hysterical when I sneezed on him)

("I'VE GOT COOTIES!")

(Sigh…circle, circle, dot, dot, now you have a cooties shot)

**Rule 118: **Please don't create stupid nicknames for me

Zu-Zu (I am not a hamster!) (Skywarp)

Tyra (Um….what?) (Blackout)

Gamma (Ok, not so bad) (Barricade)

Little Monster (Aww…..^^) (Dad)

**Rule 119: **Don't dress like Lady Gaga

(Trample and Tread were shocked when I came in wearing a meat dress)

(Ravage, not so much)

(Meat can only be eaten now)

**Rule 120: **Daft Punk is (not) banned from the base

(_No one_, bans Daft Punk)

(I nearly strangled Soundwave after this rule)

(Which reminds me…?)

(…I need to go do that)

**Rule 122: **Don't sing songs from Spongebob

(The F.U.N. song)

(The Theme song)

(The Shoe tying song)

(I caught Dad singing the "F.U.N." song)

(O_O)

**Rule 123: **Don't whip your hair

(I got my hair stuck in Blitzwing's leg)

(Very painful)

**Rule 124: **Don't attempt to kidnap any humans working with the Autobots

(I got Leo)

(He almost passed out)

(Chaos ensued when he started running around the base)

**Rule 125: **Don't let any 'Cons make accounts on social networking sites

(Facebook, MySpace, Twitter, YouTube…)

(I got a friend request from someone named "Screamin' Banshee")

(I clicked 'ignore' and 'block')


	9. Rule 90

Ah, yet another glorious one shot. **Yami-no-kijo **asked for an explanation of Rule 90. So here we go!

* * *

Tyrant lay on the massive couch, her face buried in the mondo sized cushions. She desperately wanted to disappear right then and there. But of course, her efforts were futile. Anyone with half a brain could figure out that her location was not the ideal hiding place. The Rec room itself was a high traffic area. It was a gathering place. As stated, not the greatest hiding spot.

She hastily wiped a tear that threatened to dissolve her composure but not before somebody noticed. Barricade, who had just returned from patrol, spied the miserable Techno Organic covering her face with manicured hands.

"Do I even want to ask what you're doing?" he asked, walking closer.

Tyrant barely raised her head as she answered. "No, no you don't." she replied in a muffled voice.

Barricade raised an optic ridge, the equivalent of a human raising an eyebrow. "As that may be, you're not the type to just wallow in self-pity. Or wallow in anything for that matter."

The Techno Organic sat up and glared at the Mustang revealing her tear stained face. "Thank you for believing I'm an emotionless fragger who doesn't give two screws about no one!" she yelled.

Almost immediately the 'Con regretted his words, but of course, naturally, he wouldn't just outright admit defeat.

"So, why exactly are you like this?" he demanded. There was an angry crimson glow in Tyrant's eyes. If he didn't get to the bottom of this soon, she'd become a demon from the Pit itself.

Tyrant didn't answer at first but suddenly leaped up as a particular Seeker entered the room. She jabbed a black nail polished finger at him.

"YOU!" she shrieked. Thundercracker froze in his tracks as the angered girl jumped down from the couch and stomped towards him.

"What'd I do?" he panicked. Other "Cons who happened to be engrossed in their own conversations stopped whatever they were doing and waited in anticipation for the mother of all fights to break out.

"My bet is on Tyrant. She's gonna kick TC's aft." Swindle muttered to Dead End.

"Nah, I say someone intervenes at the last second and scraps him."

"Willing to bet your High Grade on this?" Swindle asked slyly.

"You're on."

Tyrant rolled her eyes, still glaring at Thundercracker. She tried hard not to crack a smile. "What did you do? You have the audacity to ask me what you did?" she yelled. "You know perfectly well!"

Thundercracker gulped figuratively. What had he done? Nothing came to mind right away and if he didn't figure out soon, he would be, as humans said, screwed.

"I really don't know what you're talking about;"

Tyrant's eyes began glowing bright red. "YOU BASTARD, YOU BROKE MY SPARK!"

Everyone in the room froze, Thundercracker did what? All optics were on his quivering form, some narrowed, others widened in amusement, Barricade just stood there, utterly shocked.

"Since when were you in a relationship with…him? I mean, don't you have better taste?"

Thundercracker crossed his arms. "You're not helping." He growled. His momentary distraction was all Tyrant needed. She grabbed a handful of discarded Energon cubes and hurled one at his head. It hit with a surprisingly loud _clang! _

"Did you just throw a cube at me?" he demanded. Tyrant didn't answer. Instead she continued her assault, throwing two Cubes at a time.

"You freakazoidal knucklehead exspazatron!" Tyrant screamed. "You're lucky to still be alive!"

A few "Cons snickered at the confrontation, a tiny human beating on a thirty two foot tall robot. He was never going to live it down. Tyrant stopped throwing the Cubes as remnants of the liquid oozed into the Seeker's circuitry. He shuddered as the cool substance seeped into his gears.

"Aw, real mature!"

Tyrant raced out of the room, screaming as she went, down the hall. Any 'Con unfortunate enough instantly leaped out of the way as the Techno Organic tore a path for herself.

"Well, glad that's over." Thundercracker sighed, glancing down at the glowing mess on his metal body.

Barricade stifled a laugh as he gestured at the Rec room entrance. "You might want to think that over."

Thundercracker glared at the Mustang suspiciously. "Why is that?"

"You do realize where she's headed?" Barricade honestly could not, well maybe he could, believe that the Seeker was so dense.

The Seeker in question widened hi crimson optics as realization hit home. "She wouldn't…would she?" he asked hesitantly. His Energon lines ran cold.

"Oh yes she would."

Thundercracker whirled around and dashed out the door, hoping to beat the Techno Organic to her destination.

Well, as it turned out, Tyrant had a much better head start. She made it to her destination several minutes faster than the slagged Seeker. The Techno Organic glanced up at the keypad that was at least forty feet above her head. It was up there for two reasons: first, the one whose room she currently stood in front of was TALL and second, it kept tiny things (as in her or the Casseticons) from entering without assistance.

"Curse my shortness!" she muttered. Knocking was out of the option since the door's size would only register the noise as mere tapping sounds. Even with their advanced hearing it wouldn't really do much good in the long run.

She opted for yelling instead.

"DADDY!" she cried pounding on the door anyway. "Ow…metal door! Metal door!" She winced as her hand throbbed in pain.

For a moment nothing happened, and then suddenly, the door slid open with a hiss. Tyrant craned her neck as far as she was capable. There before her stood Megatron, the scariest, most terrifying mech in the Decepticon ranks. And she had just disrupted…whatever the heck he was doing.

"Um…hi…." Tyrant murmured. She lowered her head as to not show the tears still running down her face.

"What do you want?" the mech growled.

Tyrant felt her face flush as she faced her father. Her arms threatened to give away her fear, her manicured fingers twitching slightly.

"Um…I just wanted to…." The last bit of her sentence was barely a whisper.

"Tyrant," the gargantuan 'Con leader's words were tinged with annoyance and exasperation. "I have informed you countless times not to disrupt me unless absolutely necessary."

The Techno Organic wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up the façade. Her eyes began to sting again. Oh great. She glanced up with the most pathetic facial expression known to humankind. Tears streamed down her blotchy face.

"I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!" she exclaimed, stalking over to a nearby wall and punching it. Her hand left a sizeable dent, though the pain left by the violent outburst just made the situation worse.

"Owwww….." she moaned, sinking to the floor. "Sorry you have to see me like this, I must look really pitiful huh?"

In all honesty, Megatron had absolutely no idea what was going on. One minute Tyrant was (relatively) calm and the next minute she looked ready to kill someone. With a surrendered sigh he kneeled down and with surprising gentleness for a 'Con his size, carefully scooped her up in his claws. She buried her face in her hands as he raised her to optic level.

`What…exactly…happened?" he asked.

Tyrant turned her head as she answered. "Thundercracker was…being a total aft." She replied in a chocked voice.

"How exactly was he doing this?"

The Techno Organic abruptly stood up. Before she could reply a voiced yelled out "Don't listen to her, she's crazy!"

The two whirled around to see Thundercracker, for a lack of better word, careening down the corridor in a haphazard manner.

"I'm innocent I tell you, sir!" the mech pleaded.

Megatron narrowed his optics. "Innocent of what? Care to elaborate?"

Thundercracker looked up from his kneeling position on the floor. "She didn't tell you?" he asked incredulously.

Tyrant smirked inwardly. Oh yes, he was indeed screwed.

"Tell me what?" the 'Con leader demanded suspiciously.

Thundercracker glanced around nervously. He wasn't sure what was worse, not telling the truth nor having Tyrant tell the truth.

"W-well, y-your daughter sir, she accused me of…" he barely whispered the last words.

"Accused you of what?"

Tyrant, sensing something bad was about to happen, began climbing down her father's bipedal form and hid in the room, peeking out to observe from a safe distance.

Thundercracker realized that if he didn't just outright say something, he'd be "persuaded" to do so.

"She…accusedmeofbreakingherSpark." He uttered the sentence in a rush.

The mech was not amused by his subordinate's antics. "Care to say that again, slower this time."

"She accused me of breaking her Spark." Thundercracker said in a squeaky voice.

The enraged yelled that followed those seven words echoed through the based. This was accompanied by several explosions.

In the Rec room Swindle crossed his arms and scowled.

"Pay up man." Dead said cheerfully.

* * *

Well, there you have it. Why you should never mess with Tyrant. You'll get brutally shot, xD

Let me tell you I had so much difficulty writing this one shot. I'm amazed I finished it.

OK, the reason why she did this: because earlier (i didn't mention it), Thundercracker decided to tamper with her beloved bookshelf and glue it to the ceiling. Smart one he is.


	10. Rules 143 to 159

**Greetings! I am aware that I've been a little MIA for the past week. I'm on vacation in Disneyland right now so I haven't had time to get to a computer for a bit. But never fear, I have a chapter written up for the day. **

**Disclaimer: Transformers and all Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks. This story is for entertainment purposes only. **_Supergirlprime _**gave me the idea for Rule 115. I only own Tyrant and Lithium. Tai Witwicky belongs to Tatyana Witwicky. **

**

* * *

**

**Rule 143: **No puddle jumping

(Some Decepticons will decide to copy you)

(There was mass hysteria on the news about a 5.5 magnitude earthquake)

(Real smooth guys, real smooth)

**Rule 144: **Don't risk your life just so someone will save you

(I was thisclose to being run over by a semi)

(Thank goodness for quick reflexes)

**Rule 145: **No, there is no Star Wars Mosquito Defense System!

(It will not destroy other planets)

(No, we are not getting one!)

(I got singed ten times)

(Who put the 'human' setting on it?)

**Rule 146: **Try not to step on Beta (my phone)

(He doesn't like it)

(Unlike me, Beta will get revenge)

(In the most uncomfortable way possible)

(Like mess around with your energon lines)

**Rule 147: **Watch where you step!

(I've been nearly squished 50 times)

(I know who does it on purpose)

**Rule 148: **Coloured foam soap is forbidden

(How Frenzy got a hold of so much I don't know)

(I knew it was him)

(I found crude drawings on my mirror)

**Rule 149: **Don't ask if the Seekers are triplets

(Starscream didn't answer)

(Skywarp looked offended)

(Thundercracker merely winked)

**Rule 150: **If you value your life, do not mention Hoover Dam

(Skywarp said something about it)

(I whirled around and glared)

(Dad did the same)

(We charged at him)

**Rule 151: **Do not use me as a holoform

(I apparently have $1 000 in speeding tickets)

($200 in parking tickets)

(And I got arrested for shoplifting)

(In a jewellery store)

(Dad was not pleased)

(With the ones who framed me)

**Rule 152: **Never make a rope out of earbuds

(It will not hold any weight)

(I collapsed in a heap of laughter when Frenzy started wall climbing)

**Rule 153: **Be careful what you speak in Cybertronian

(Skywarp you *click* *hiss* *screech* *click*)

(He froze on the spot)

(Barricade taught me!)

(Shhh!)

**Rule 154: **No throwing Frisbees

(I made mine look like an Identity Disc)

(It even glowed!)

(Soundwave confiscated it when it got lodged in his shoulder)

(GIVE IT BACK!)

**Rule 155: **No drawing on the Seeker's wings

(Starscream did not appreciate the frogs I drew)

(Skywarp loved the punk Hello Kitties though…Oo)

(Thundercracker didn't even give me a chance)

**Rule 156: **Don't mess with Dad's fusion cannon

(OOoooh boy was he MAD)

(I just 'fixed' it for him)

(Ok, I accidentally made the kick a little to "kick")

(He flew backwards 100 yards)

**Rule 157: **Never let the 'Cons near chocolate

(That was a fun day)

(There was an ocean of chocolate in the Rec Room)

(Lake Chocolate!)

(Needless to say, I rather enjoyed it)

**Rule 158: **The following movies are only allowed to be watched with supervision

Pirates of the Caribbean (I wouldn't stop quoting it)

Brother Bear (What's wrong with talking bears?)

Alice in Wonderland (Ok, I can understand this)

She's the Man (The look on Dad's face was priceless!)

Nightmare before Christmas (I demand this be lifted!)

**Rule 159: **Do not suggest a day at Disneyland

(Holograms can puke)

(I never thought they'd be so scared of Tea Cups)

* * *

**All right! I'm gonna answer some reviews here: **

**Cairistona****: **Aww…thanks! ^^

**Supergirlprime: **I've read a story here called "My Little Lover" where Ol' Megsy does indeed, get called "Daddy" (xD)

**Forever Dreaming Grace: **Really? I feel honoured that you like it! As for a story, I'm planning on it in the future. However, it will be fairly angst and not as humorous.

**Yami-no-kijo: **My pleasure! I just wrote it all at once without thinking. Because if I didn't, I'd still be stuck! xD

**Psyconinja7: **Tyrant is meant to be the opposite of Tai just as Megsy is the opposite of Optimus. But Tyrant has a more messed up passed than Tai does.


	11. Rules 160 to 176

Well, I feel so happy about this that I'm gonna update again. Just because I feel like it. Plus it'll make up for the fact that I might not be able to update for a while.

Disclaimer: I don't own Transformers. Rules 136 and 137 are courtesy of **Forever Dreaming Grace, **Rule 138 is courtesy of **Supergirlprime. **

* * *

**Rule 160: **Always remember to transform _after _I get out

(Blackout you dumbaft)

(Same goes to you Starscream)

(I didn't talk to either for a week)

**Rule 161: **Never turn up the music so loud you can't hear

(I was supposed to talk to Dad about something)

(I forgot)

(I was grounded for three days…)

(Washing the Seeker's alt modes)

**Rule 162: **Never get into an argument with any 'Con

(Blitzwing has three opinions)

(Starscream just rants)

(Barricade has a scathing rapier wit)

**Rule 163: **Bossing the 'Cons around is no excuse to practicing your threatening skills

(I was on a roll until Soundwave caught me)

(There was a giant hole in the floor)

(It didn't lead to China)

(Damn)

**Rule 164: **No throwing coconuts

(They split rather quickly upon impact)

(The milk leaks into their systems)

(Hee, hee, hee)

**Rule 165: **Never go to a human doctor

(They don't know Cybertronian stuff)

(I was nearly hauled off to some government lab)

(It doesn't exist anymore….)

**Rule 166: **No using Soundwave's security system to spy on 'Cons

(Blackout likes darts)

(Starscream watched CSI)

(The Con Twins just beat each other up)

**Rule 167: **Don't quote _Megamind _

"And I'd be watching you, like a dingo watches a human baby!." (I said this to Barricade, he just looked at me funny)

"I'm like your space dad." (Yes, yes you are Dad…)

"All men must choose between two paths. Good is the path of honour, friends and family. Evil... well, it's just cooler." (Really Starscream?)

"I say we go back to the evil lair, grab some ray guns, hold 'em sideways and just go all 'gangsta' on him." (Me)

"Oh, you're a villian all right. Just not a super one!" (Blackout made the mistake of saying this to Barricade)

"Ollo" (I always forget how to answer the phone!)

**Rule 168:** No texting while 'driving'

(Dad just lets me do it)

(I had no idea why)

(Until I realized he wasn't actually driving)

(…slag...)

**Rule 169:** Don't obsessively count things

(I spent hours counting my Vinylmation characters)

(I thought I had twenty)

(I kept getting 15)

(Where're the other 5?)

**Rule 170:** Leave my TRON merchandise alone

(I came home to find my disc missing)

(Soundwave!)

**Rule 171:** No blowing bubbles

(they were everywhere!)

(I mean everywhere)

**Rule 172:** no horrible puns

(It's a gneiss rock, don't take it for granite!)

(Head hunter country, a bad place to beheaded)

(That's Ginger, Ginger snaps.)

(I'm CLUless)

**Rule 173:** Never program mechs to emit animal noises whenever they swear

(a dolphin)

(a cow)

(a rooster)

(a sheep)

(you get the picture...)

**Rule 174:** No more "that's what she said" or "your mom" jokes

(it got old real fast)

**Rule 175:** No orange peel teeth

(oh I had fun that day)

(the 'Cons still question my sanity)

(I blame Dad)

**Rule 176: **The 1-2-4 sheep prank is banned

(They spent forever searching for number 3)

(There wasn't one of course)

(But I didn't tell them that)


	12. Rules 177 to 196

OK, Jazzi Flynn is back with more ridiculousness! I've been kind of running low on inspiration but I managed

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers. I only own Tyrant. **Supergirlprime **gave me the idea for Rule 158. (I'm not sure which song you were talking about) hope I got it right!

* * *

**Rule 177: **No singing the Happy Song

(It seems OK at first)

(But then…not so much)

(SCREW YOU!)

**Rule 178: **Pixie Stix are banned

(I got real hyper, _real _fast)

(It's not good when I'm hyper)

(Especially since I managed to ransack everybody's rooms)

**Rule 179: **Stop trying to 'save my life'

(Star scream kept tossing me around…)

(…in the air)

(I almost died)

**Rule 180: **Don't mention superstitions

(It makes them paranoid)

(Not that they aren't already)

(Shockwave knocks on wood)

(Frenzy has horseshoes)

(I ended up checking all the mirrors)

**Rule 181: **Never glue swan wings to my shoulders

(They are very heavy!)

(I cannot fly!)

**Rule 182: **Don't create accounts on ANY sites

(It's not limited to social networking!)

(The usernames "Ih8humans" and "Death_to_Organics" does not really help much either)

**Rule 183: **Stop calling me "Jenny"

(She's a robot)

(I'm part human)

(I will not die my hair!)

**Rule 184: **No holographic junkyards

(junkyard=graveyard)

(Oh the nightmares!)

(I couldn't sleep for several weeks)

(Because everyone else was screaming)

**Rule 185: **No random dancing

(It was a good song!)

(Trample thought I was malfunctioning)

(I had to run away before he took me to Scalpel)

**Rule 186: **Don't say "Dead men tell no tales" in a demented voice

(I said this over the loudspeaker)

(It echoed!)

(The result was several screams)

(And a small earthquake)

**Rule 187: **Never call anyone a subnormal chickenhead

(I called Blackout this)

(He was annoying me)

(I love weird insults)

**Rule 188: **Never bring up anyone's dark secrets

(I told everyone Barricade hates Starscream)

(I also told Skywarp that Soundwave listens to Ke$ha)

(He was not pleased)

(Soundwave that is)

**Rule 189: **Don't let Starscream believe he will eventually become leader some day

(Dad branded me a traitor)

(I was sent to the brig)

(It's infested with…things)

**Rule 190:** No tickling the 'Cons inner circuitry with feathers

(It's really dangerous)

(I got kicked across the room)

(There's a dent in the wall in the shape of me)

**Rule 191: **Don't quote the Mortal Instruments series

(Cassandra Clare is a genius)

"I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt." (I said this randomly)

"Mom, I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that undead are just like you and me…Well, okay. Possibly more like me than you." (Blackout, you're not dead!)

"Have you tried talking to her?" "No. We have been punching her in the face repeatedly. What, you don't think that will work?" (Apparently, they thought this would solve their problems)

"I am a man, and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone, woman, and bring me something brown." (Oh shut up Skywarp)(It's just lemonade!)

" I always thought it was' good things come to those who do the wave.'" said Simon. " No wonder I have been confused all my life." (Your concept of anything is low dumbaft)

**Rule 192: **Never let the 'Cons watch Pixar movies

(I have now been deemed "Squishy")

(Soundwave wants to create doors that lead to the monster world)

(I've been asked why the characters in "Cars" aren't Cybertronian)

**Rule 193: **Don't play the 'punch buggy' game

(It may result in serious injury, lowering of sanity and possibly death)

(I've been punched too many times)

**Rule 194: **Don't try to make Dad angry

(I'm serious. _Dead _serious)

(If you value your life DO NOT do this)

(Hasn't anyone learnt from Starscream?)

(I can't get away with things either)

(As much as I try)

**Rule 195: **Never paint "SS Coward" on Starscream's wings

(It works doesn't it?)

(Excuse me while I flee to Italy)

**Rule 196: **Never suggest a game of paint ball

(Odds are, there will be severe cheating)

(Those 'Cons don't play fair)

(Not that I do either)

* * *

Well, there we go! I have another chapter being written so it'll be up tomorrow

(I think)


	13. Rules 197 to 213

Well, this is nice. 2 940 hits, 949 visitors and 44 reviews! I feel so loved knowing that people enjoy this

**Disclaimer: **Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and Dreamworks. The following story is for entertainment purposes only. I own Tyrant and Lithium. **Forever Singing Grace **gave me the ideas for Rules 176 and 177.

* * *

**Rule 197: **Always keep sharp objects (i.e. swords) on your person at all times

(It really comes in handy)

(When dealing with stupid mechs)

(They fear me now)

**Rule 198: **Don't try and make any moves on me

(There are cameras everywhere)

(You are being watched)

(I can also stab you with my sword)

(Shiny isn't it?)

**Rule 199: **Never put flag stickers on any mechs

(I put a British flag on Blackout)

(And a German one on Blitzwing)

(Then the World Cup came around)

(It was brutal)

**Rule 200: **No more Justin Bieber

(The song "Baby" gives me a headache)

(The 'Cons don't see what the fuss is about)

(I told them to just leave it be)

(Just leave it be)

**Rule 201: **Please do not show anyone Fan Fictions

(I think the story about the Optimus x Megatron one broke Dad)

(Every time I mentioned 'Prime' in anyway I got sent to my room)

(I read the story again)

(hee hee hee)

**Rule 202: **Using any form of 'normal' transportation is forbidden

(When someone found out I took the bus I was grounded)

(Apparently no one thinks I'm safe)

(Not that I'm any safer, with the type I live with)

(_Tryant...)_

_(_Didn't say anything!)_  
_

**Rule 203: **Cheese rolling is banned

(I ended up tumbling down the hill)

(I bruised my neck)

(Frenzy tied himself in a knot)

**Rule 204: **Do not defile national monuments

(The Washington Monument was covered in origmai cranes)

(How, we don't know)

**Rule 205:** Don't develop your own secret code amongst the Cassetticons

(It lasted a week)

(No one knew what we were saying)

(Finally Dad snapped)

("For the fraggin' love of evil monkeys shut up!")

(monkeys?)

**Rule 206: **No stealing my shoelaces and tying me up

(They are not that strong)

(It didn't help I was 20 ft off the ground)

(I had to buy new ones)

(Neon pink ones)

**Rule 207: **Don't paint Dad pink

(I ended up freezing in horror)

(He looked Badass.)

(Yes, I said that)

(No one else could laugh either)

**Rule 208: **Sea monkeys are forbidden

(Rest in Peace Bob, George, Fritters and Lola)

(I will miss you and all your..sea monkieness...)

**Rule 209: **Don't narrate your life

(I had a story in the works)

("She tiptoes down the dimly lit corridor...")

(I couldn't stop)

**Rule 210: **Please, for the sanity of everyone, do no, I repeat do not put tape across all the doors

(It was a (pardon the pun) sticky situation)

(Know how long it takes to remove tape from circuitry?)

(10 hours!)

(My hands were stuck together afterwards)

**Rule 211:**Don't introduce Online gaming

(Skywarp became addicted)

(He played for weeks non stop)

(Barricade wouldn't listen to me)

(I wanted to smash any computer I saw)

**Rule 212: **Ask before you throw stuff out

(I threw out copies of Playboy)

(They were under Blackout's berth)

(O_o)

(I'm scared)

**Rule 213: **Don't let Scalpel discover Frankenstein

(He wanted to experiment on people)

(I hid for three days)

(When Scalpel wants to do something, he'll do anything)

(He didn't get to)

(Thank Primus)

* * *

All right, if anyone has any ideas, feel free to say so in your review. So the next chapter is a one shot, which rule should it be?

Jazzi Flynn (End of Line)


	14. Rule 201

OK, so after some "serious" debate, I have finally chosen which rule to do a one shot: Rule 201! For the sake of sanity, please just go along with the fact that this site exists in the Transformers universe.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers and Transformers related characters belong to Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks. This story is for entertainment purposes only. The only characters I own are Tyrant and Lithium. **Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna** was the one who suggested this one. Any of the fan fictions mentioned in this story belong to **Lunar Mist**, **Tatyana Witwicky** and **Tenshi of Light21. **If you haven't read them, you should. They are quiet awesome. So in other words, there's a little shameless advertising. xD

**Rule 201: **Please do not show anyone Fan Fictions

* * *

It was just 'one of those days', sort of.

Tyrant was sure that most _normal _people didn't have to deal with giant sentient robots on a daily basis. She glared at the white screen displaying a plain, black grid covered with tiny red dots. After the World Cup incident with the flag stickers she had been forced to do monitor duty. It was boring on every scale imaginable. In true parental fashion, Megatron had actually confiscated her cell phone Beta. This had irked the Techno Organic more than being sentenced to sitting around and doing pretty much nothing. In her anger she had searched the whole base, literally tearing the place apart to find the little mechanical spider. Unfortunately, she did not succeed.

"Fragging 'Cons, they have no sense of humor, or generosity for that matter." She muttered tapping a fingernail against the metal surface of the desk.

She sighed as yet _another _bird tripped a sensor. Why was it that Cybertronians, as 'advanced' as they were with technology, they couldn't create a system where it could tell the difference between an animal and enemy? Tyrant tore her gaze from the glowing screen which was starting to give her a headache and glanced around the room to make sure no one was there.

Thanks to the ever loyal Soundwave, cameras had been installed around the base to 'supervise' the Decepticons. In truth, Tyrant believed the Communications Officer was paranoid. It certainly could explain why she had found a camera in her closet.

"Frenzy probably put it there to annoy me." She said icily. Tired of her current punishment, Tyrant stood up and walked towards the base of the giant screen. A tiny circular red light was blinking every five seconds. At first glance it looked like a screw but upon closer inspection, one could spy the tiny opening that would open and close. She pulled out a box of 5 Cobalt gum and withdrew a piece. She proceeded to chew it a few times before spitting it out. Carefully, Tyrant wedged it directly over the lens, totally obscuring it.

"There, now you can't see me." She declared smugly. Tyrant raced back to her seat and opened up the hacked Wi-Fi she had secretly installed. Why pay when you could go the Decepticon way? Once the access link was connected the Techno Organic typed in a web link. Immediately a familiar site filled the giant screen.

"Let's see, which one to read?" she muttered. Her eyes instinctively wandered towards the door as though expecting someone to walk through. Good, nobody was there. was not a site the 'Cons would enjoy. Somehow people had known who the Transfomers were and started writing stories about them. Some of them were rather interesting where some were just…weird to lightly put it. There was _A Little Burst of Sunlight, Her Twins _and _Operation Babysitting. _She had read those before.

"OK, doesn't anyone ever update these things?" she asked a little too loudly. Tyrant scrolled down the list until suddenly she froze. No. Freaking. Way. Who in their right mind would write a story like that?

"Romance?" The Techno Organic laughed.

It was an Optimus x Megatron pairing. "Oh this should be good." Tyrant said with a devious smirk. If she got caught she would be in worse trouble than she already was. But as always, it would be worth it. _A lot _worth it. She clicked the link and began reading.

* * *

_An hour later..._

Tyrant didn't bother trying to stop laughing as she read the story. It was too much.

"Who writes this stuff?" she exclaimed.

Unfortunately, her laughter caught the attention of two particular Decepticons. The 'Con twins were arguing as they made their way down the corridor when they overheard the Techno Organic muttering to herself.

"What's she doin'?" Tread asked nervously. The maniacal laughter was none too reassuring.

"How should I know?" his counterpart sneered.

They began pushing and shoving each other in order to see who would get to look through the door. Of course discretion was not one of their more dominant traits. Tyrant glanced up suddenly as Trample socked his brother in the face.

"Hey!" she yelled. The Twins froze in mid brawl. "You two are such fraggin' idiots!"

Tyrant jumped down from her seat, narrowing her eyes at the two trembling 'Cons. "I'm trying to read here!"

Read? The 'Con Twins exchanged nervous glances. They knew that the Techno Organic didn't like to be disturbed when she was reading. Things tended to get…violent.

"Wh-what are you reading?" Trample asked nervously. He hoped with a little distraction Tyrant wouldn't unleash her wrath at them.

Tyrant raised an eyebrow. "What's it to ya?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her Daft Punk T-shirt.

"N-Nothing. Just wondering."

The Techno Organic glared at them for a moment before shrugging. "Just some fan fiction." She said casually.

"What's a 'fan fiction'?" The Twins asked in unison.

Tyrant slapped her forehead. Of course these two were so dense they wouldn't even bother to, even though they practically had Wi-Fi in their processors, look it up. "Fan fictions are stories written about movies, comics, anime, TV-shows, books, stuff like that."

"People do this…a lot?"

"Well, I'm not sure everyone does but yeah, a lot of people do." Tyrant replied. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to reading it."

She scampered back to her seat, full intent on ignoring the Twins. However, they were too curious for their own good and proceeded to peer over her shoulder. Their optics widened in shock as they read the story.

"FRAGGIN' PRIMUS WHAT IS THIS?" Trample exclaimed in horror.

"Whoever wrote this is sicker than Unicron himself!"

Tyrant slowly turned to face the Twins, a blank angry stare on her face. "Then why are you reading this?" she asked through gritted teeth. The Twins looked at each other before booking it out of the room. They weren't taking any chances.

"Finally those two are gone." Tyrant muttered to herself. She turned back to reading unaware that the Twins had caused a lovely little fiasco just by reacting to the story.

* * *

As a 'Con of very little emotion, it took a lot to make Soundwave express anything besides logic and reason.

However, this 'fan fiction' was enough to make even him cringe. This was…disturbing. Whoever had written the story had to be sicker than even the most violent of Decepticons. He was not looking forward to telling his leader about this. Not at all.

* * *

The Twins raced down the hall at top speed, screaming nonsense about having their processors scarred for life and how they could never take their leader seriously again.

This brought the attention of several 'Cons who just assumed the 'Con Twins were being stupid fraggers (yet again) and merely ignored them. However, this could not be the same for Megatron who narrowed his crimson optics at the retreating Twins. _What could possibly be going on this time? _

Tyrant was too engrossed to notice any of the chaos going on around the base as she made it to the second last chapter. So preoccupied with the words on the screen that she didn't notice who was standing in the doorway. It took a total of exactly 2.78 seconds for the Techno Organic to realize that she was not alone. It might have had something to do with the strange tingling on the back of her neck. Or maybe…nah, it was the sudden chill. She turned to see the last mech she wanted to see.

"Um…hi…?" she said nervously. "What're you doing here Dad?"

Cybertronians were never ones to waste words, especially when it came to urgency…or punishments.

"I received word that you were neglecting your duties…again."

Tyrant scratched the back of her hand and stared at the floor. "Yeah…and?" she asked.

"I also was told you were reading a rather…interesting story."

Tyrant's face immediately turned tomato red within seconds. Her eyes glanced around the room in a panicked frenzy. It didn't help her situation when her spark/heart began pulsing rapidly.

"Oh…that…it's just a story…" Tyrant said casually. There was a hint of choked embarrassment in her tone.

For a moment, neither of the two spoke. The Techno Organic shifted in her seat, staring up at her father with an expression someone would see on a person who thought it was the end of the world.

"Go to your room. You're grounded."

* * *

Sorry for the really weird whatever this is...xD It took me a week! A week to write this...and it kinda sucks...eh, whatever, I'll do better next time..

Since you're at the bottom of this chapter you may find it interesting to know that I fixed the chapters so there are some new rules in the existing chapters.

JFLynn


	15. Rules 214 to 230

Well, I'm feeling nice today. So I'm going to update again.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers…

**Rule 214: **Never mercilessly destroy computers with an ax

(It might've been my face that scared the Decepticons)

(Or maybe it was the 'Die Toaster Die')

(I'm not allowed near any Cybertronian computers)

**Rule 215: **No copying mechs behind their backs

(I started mimicking Swindle while he was bragging about his Poker skills)

(This lasted about 2 hours)

(He kept looking at me with a suspicious expression)

(I feign innocence well)

**Rule 216: **Valentine's Day is a holiday (sort of)

(I got a mountain of roses)

(It was nice but I got jabbed by all the thorns)

(I see leaves and occasional petals now and then)

**Rule 217: **Do not poke recharging Decepticons

(They twitch)

(A lot)

(Quite violently)

(I once again made friends with a wall)

**Rule 218: **Never randomly sigh and say "(Insert 'Con name) is so dreamy!"

(This will get you a few looks)

(Dad kept eyeing everyone with suspicion that day)

**Rule 219: **Zippers are banned

(I got several in my hair)

(Thank you Blitzwing!)

(I had to get it cut)

(I look like an estranged mouse!)

**Rule 220: **Do not attempt to create bombs of mass destruction

(The FBI swooped upon us)

(I had to explain everything)

(Frenzy got arrested)

**Rule 221: **Please don't steal my Ipod

(I will spend forever looking for it)

(Starting with your room)

(In the end I only found five car keys, two sets of earrings, a torn up dictionary and some shoes)

(I still can't find my Ipod!)

**Rule 222: **All war video games are banned

(Call of Duty, God of War, World of Warcraft)

(The Seeker Trine was really mad about this)

(They were addicts)

**Rule 223: **No elastic band balls

(It was at least 20 feet tall)

(I tried to climb it)

(I fell)

**Rule 224: **Be sure to dispose of corn husks properly

(That silk stuff got stuck on Frenzy's claws)

(He used it as confetti)

(I got smothered)

**Rule 22**5: No Jack-in-the-boxes

(I put one in front of Ramjet's quarters)

(He screamed)

(Then glitched…)

**Rule 226: **TMZ is banned from the base

(Blackout wouldn't stop saying "Sexual Napalm!")

(I cringe whenever he does)

**Rule 227: **Don't ask "Are apples acidic?" as a random question

(You'll get funny stares)

(All the apples on the base went missing afterwards)

**Rule 228: **Never ask Alice for fashion advice

(She wanted me to buy Gucci, Dolce and Gabbana, Guess…etc.)

(Do I look like I can afford that stuff?)

(Her solution: steal Galloway's credit card)

(I have a new found respect for her)

**Rule 229: ** Don't show the Decepticons the documentary on dragons

(Some of them were convinced that they're real)

(They wanted to create 'Dragoncons')

(I simply sighed and ate my cereal)

(It said they _might _exist)

(MIGHT!)

**Rule 230: **All superhero movies are banned

(Superman, Spiderman, Batman, Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Fantastic 4)

(Scalpel wanted to create a radioactive spider to bite me)

(I screamed in his face and threw a frying pan at him)

(It took seven hours to calm me down)

(Everyone knows I hate spiders!)


	16. Rules 231 to 247

Yes, I went MIA on acount I was being lazy.

Disclaimer: I only own Tyrant and Lithium. Tai belongs to Tatyana Witwicky.

* * *

**Rule 231: **With the exception of Lithium, no pets are allowed on premises

(I found a bunch of cats in Cyclonus' room)

(I think he needs a new hobby)

(Skywarp got a scarlet macaw)

(I really don't want to know how he got it)

(He taught it to say "Kill the puny humans")

**Rule 232: **All yarn is to be stored _safely _

(I was knitting a scarf)

(Then Frenzy decided to flick them around like a cat)

(I spent the rest of the day trying to get him unstuck)

**Rule 233: **Don't play extreme hide n' seek

(It's extreme getting to the hiding places)

(The rafters, a drawer ten feet off the ground…)

(It took several hours for Shockwave to find me)

(I switched places a lot)

**Rule 234: **Never spill beads in the Rec Room

(It sets off chain reactions)

(Blitzwing fell into Astrotrain, who whacked Thundercracker in the face, who fell into Swindle, who fell into Dead End, who knocked over Dad…)

(That's a feat in itself)

(Needless to say the brig was crammed that day)

(Conimos!)

**Rule 235: **Don't replace everyone's insignias with Autobot ones

(Shockwave has a list of traitors)

(Blackout nearly offlined)

(I hid the video of everyone's reactions)

**Rule 236: **Dental floss is for my use only

**Rule 237: **Never ask to use any of the 'Cons guns to roast marshmallows

(I got singed)

(…And my hair is partially burnt)

(My marshmallows were incinerated…)

**Rule 238: **Don't bring up Starscream's many failures

(It's quite extensive)

(There are 15 782 and counting…!)

(Make that 15 783)

(He hid my toothbrush)

**Rule 239: **Don't imitate Scorponok and cling to a mech's armor

(I did this to Rampage)

(He tried to get me off but I have a strong grip)

(Thank goodness for robotic limbs)

(But I did get my face scratched up)

**Rule 240: **No taking bets unless you're sure you can follow through

(Tai didn't think I could put on clothes wearing oven mitts)

(I did)

(Twice)

(She just scowled and stomped off)

**Rule 241: **Don't show Dad the Evil Overlord List

(He can be unbearable to live with)

(Not that he isn't already)

(It's bad enough he's got…anger issues)

**Rule 242: **Yoga is banned from the base

(The 'Cons aren't very flexible)

(Oh that sounded wrong…)

(But it's true)

(Someone lost several limbs)

**Rule 243: **Knock before you enter

(I was getting dressed)

(Blackout saw me in my underwear)

(I threw a tire at his head)

**Rule 244: **Just because the money's there doesn't mean you should spend it

(Sideways bought a life-sized Spiderman off eBay)

(It cost $3 675)

(That was supposed to be for a rainy day!)

(Bastard got what came to him)

**Rule 245: **Jillian Jiggs is banned from the base

(I made too many pigs)

(Ratbat got a hold of the stuffing)

(I shoved him in a closet)

("No…Soundwave, I have no…idea where he is…")

**Rule 246: **Don't steal my Skeleanimals!

(I couldn't find my wallet)

(I found it _and _my Kit plushie two days later)

(In a storm drain…)

(Grrr…)

**Rule 247: **Never use Dad as a way to scare the Decepticons into listening to you

(It worked rather well)

(No one tried anything on me for a month)

(Too bad it didn't last)


	17. Rules 248 to 264

Well, I'm back for yet another chapter. Now I realize that people don't always review but I'm feeling like no one really likes this story any more. So, with that being said, I will keep typing up chapters but I want to know that people are enjoying this

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers. I own Tyrant, Lithium and Beta.

**Rule 248: **Never mess with Soundwave's computer

(He pulled a "Sheldon Cooper" and denied me access to the hacked Wi-Fi)

(A message pops up every time I try to fix it)

("Greetings insignificant insect, as you can see, your parasitic access to the World Wide Web had been denied. If you desire to remedy the situation, apologize and refrain from yet another juvenile escapade.")

(You're lucky I know what you said)

(I'm getting my own internet)

**Rule 249: **No Cybertronian Boggle

(I can never win this game)

(It's a lot more complicated than it sounds)

(Everyone laughs when I mispronounce words)

(Many 'Cons lost a servo that day)

**Rule 250: **Never mention that Unicron can spell 'Unicorn' if two letters are switched

(I said this while reading something about monkeys)

(Had nothing to do with them)

(I'm not regretting anything)

**Rule 251: **Never show Far Side comics

(They are confusing to the Decepticons)

(Especially the ones about cows)

(My books mysteriously disappeared)

**Rule 252: **Do not say the following as answer:

"Def Con 5 means no danger, Def Con 1 is a crisis." (I didn't think we were in that much trouble)

"I, like, totally paused." (Alice says this a lot) (It doesn't work that well)

"I can't just shoot 'im in the back! It wouldn't be civil. I know! I'll get his attention, _and then _shoot 'im in the back!" (Thundercracker, that doesn't compromise anything) (You shot him in the back!)

"You know what? Many of life's answers just punch you in the face." (I said this to Bonecrusher) (Not sure why)

**Rule 253: **Don't pick things up with your feet

(It makes life easier)

(Plus I do it to annoy the Decepticons)

(They're jealous)

**Rule 254: **Never for the sake of nothing, yell out "BAZINGA!"

(It's fun to say)

(Sadly, Jim Parsons can make this sound funnier than any of us can)

(Blitzwing it was funny the first time!)

**Rule 255: **No more Lucky Stars!

(As much as they are fun to make…)

(I already have 5 jars full of them)

(Plus the ones in the box I've hidden from everyone)

(Do I need more?)

(No)

**Rule 256: **Stop with the bumper stickers

(Your kid may be on the honor roll but you're still an idiot) (Guess who had that?)

(Mechs are from Cybertron. Femmes are from Cybertron. Deal with it) (I put this on Blackout)

(If you think I'm nuts, wait til you see my family) (Skywarp put this on me…I stabbed him)

**Rule 257: **Don't attempt to hill surf

(Ice will melt quite fast)

(Just because the cartoons do it, doesn't mean its safe)

(However it was fun while it lasted)

**Rule 258: **When at the beach don't use a bull whip to hit 'Cons

(Its fun watching them run around screaming)

(Lugnut thought I infected him with some virus)

(Paranoid poor sport)

**Rule 259: ** No more bedazzling

(I bedazzled my jacket, my desk chair, my phone…) (Beta didn't like it so much)

(It's very addicting)

(I ended up bedazzling 'Cade's steering wheel)

(It's an evil skull)

(Hee…hee…hee)

**Rule 260: **Don't sit on Dad's throne

(I started ordering the 'Cons around)

("Starscream, make me a sandwich!")

(In the end Dad told me to stop)

(I didn't get my sandwich)

**Rule 261: **Never let the 'Cons near Stephanie Meyer's "The Host"

(Scalpel wanted to check for Souls possessing our bodies)

(I said, "Frag no!" and ran)

(His psychotic cackling echoed through the base)

(I hid for the rest of the day)

**Rule 262: **No sticky tack

(It gums up the 'Cons circuitry)

(Not to mention it's hard to remove)

(I might've torn something important)

(Oops…)

**Rule 263: **Never tell the 'Cons about calculator messages

(Oh what a bad idea that was)

(Blitzwing had the time of his life)

(He kept spelling 55378008)

(Yeah…that's what it says)

**Rule 264: **No staring at lava lamps for too long

(I have three)

(It's psychedelic gooeyness)

(Might've zoned out a couple times)

(It scares the Decepticons)


	18. Rules 265 to 281

Just to clarify, I wasn't trying to be accusing. I was just making sure I wasn't writing stuff and have no one read it.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers. Tai belongs to Tatyana Witwicky. I own Tyrant, Lithium and Beta.

* * *

**Rule 265: **Don't question why 'Cade hangs out with Tai so much

(He said I was jealous)

(I am not!)

(I just...never mind)

(Ok, maybe a little)

**Rule 266: **Never throw a temper tantrum to gain attention

(I can get away with it)

(Skywarp you cannot!)

(I am not doing anything about it)

(He's acting like a child)

**Rule 267: **Always keep soap away from the Cassetticons

(I came home to find my room full of bubbles)

(Took me an hour and a half to find the source)

(Then another three hours to get rid of it)

(Ten minutes to locate the little fiends)

**Rule 268: **"Don't interrupt me when I'm reading! I get violent!"

(Exactly what it says!)

(You heard me!)  
**Rule 269: **Never sneak into a 'Cons room, lie on the berth next to them and in the morning say "Man, what hit me?"

(It makes them scream an octave higher)

(My ears are bleeding)

(Dad said he had no sympathy)

(I was tempted to throw my book at him)

(_very _tempted)

**Rule 270: **No rope swings

(It breaks under the weight to 4.5 metric tonnes)

(What makes you think it will hold you up Rampage?)

(It's for me and the tiny 'Cons only!)

(Even then...)

**Rule 271: **Do not look up make up tutorials

**Rule 272: **Never run around imitating a plane

(Many of the 'Cons alt modes are planes)

(They will be offended)

(I was told my imitations 'sucked')

(Everybody's a critic!)

**Rule 273: **Leaving objects in any 'Cons alt mode is forbidden

(Soda cans sever energon lines)

(That explains the trail of glowing bluish stuff in the halls)  
**Rule 274: **No touch-less car washes

(Oh it was brutal)

(People kept staring at me while I screamed at my car)

(He wouldn't move!)

**Rule 275: **The song "Friday" is banned

(Oh good lord)

(It's stuck in my head!)

(Kill me now)

**Rule 276: **If caught looking up at the sky do not say "I'm waiting for the mother ship" and then grin evilly

(Your sanity will be questioned)

(I have been told there were green men)

(_Were_)

(Apparently)

**Rule 277: **Stamp collecting is for me only

(The glue is very strong)

(_Very _strong)

(I was tempted to mail Frenzy to the North Pole)

**Rule 278: **Don't quote the Big Bang Theory

(I've been ignoring this)

"Oh Rumble, it's as if you don't think I'll punch you." (I almost did)

"Of course not, we're talking very mild electric shocks." (Skywarp this will help no one)

"I'm crazy." (I believe you)

"GOOD NIGHT PUNY HUMAN!" (Those damn 'Cons…)

**Rule 279: **The following movies are added to the banned list

Get Him to the Greek (Oh good gravy)

Inkheart (I had to hide my books)

Marley and Me (I cried. Soundwave cried. Ravage wouldn't leave me alone)

A Series of Unfortunate Events (I wanted an Incredibly Deadly Viper)

**Rule 280: **Never mix energon with coffee

(The caffeine makes the drink worse)

(I had a 12 hour buzz)

(Scalpel had me under 72 hour surveillance after I dropkicked Sideways)

**Rule 281: **No jump ropes allowed

(This went with rope swings)

(I got tied to a door)

(Upside down)


	19. Rules 282 to 300

Now normally I'd have written a one shot but being so close to 300 rules I couldn't resist. Expect the one shot next week! It's Rule 284

**Disclaimer: **I own Tyrant. Tai belongs to Tatyana Witwicky.

* * *

**Rule 282: **No laser pointers

(It blinds the 'Cons)

(Ravage likes to practice his pouncing skills)

(It annoys Frenzy and Rumble immensely)

**Rule 283: **Invader Zim is no longer allowed on base

(Zim scares Blackout)

(Blitzwing thinks he's the greatest)

(My new nickname is Gir)

(Though how that happened I really don't know)

**Rule 284: **I will not use gum to cover any cameras

(It's hard to remove it afterwards)

(I had to negotiate my way out of a three month punishment)

(Gum is now banned)

(I have an emergency stash somewhere)

**Rule 285: **Perfume and Body Sprays are no longer allowed

(Throwing an Axe can grenade style can cause problems)

(The Decepticons thought the Autobots were attacking)

(It was just me and Tai hiding in the ceiling)

(She left before anything bad happened...TRAITOR!)

(I was put in stasis lock!)

**Rule 286: **Don't ask about the other seventeen dimensions

(I fell asleep after ten minutes into a five hour lecture)

(That was the condensed version)

(The real lecture is twenty times longer)

(I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide after hearing this)

**Rule 287: **Never ask Star scream if he was ever a femme

(This will make him act like one)

(The 'Con femmes just laughed)

(Just don't do it)

**Rule 288: **Speaking of 'Screamer, don't call him Megatron's bitch

(What a glorious day this was)

("Look I get it, Dad made you his bitch, but could you quit changing the subject?")

(I was given restraining order)

('Screamer was put offline for a while)

(I was also grounded)

(That was the best punishment ever)

(There was chaos day and night)

**Rule 289: **If totally bored don't keep record of cars passing by

(I counted 208 Fords, 30 Hondas, 157 Chevys, 9 Ferraris, 108 GMC's, 40 Toyotas and 93 Freightliners)

(Yes I got very bored)

(Too many traffic jams)

**Rule 290: **When playing any form of strategy game don't get carried away

(Some of those 'Cons take it seriously)

(I think it made it worse when Soundwave yelled "Take that Autoscums!" )

(He sounds better in a monotone voice)

(Makes you appreciate his personality)

**Rule 291: **Never say that Blitzwing's accent sounds funny

(He started cursing me out in German)

(Thing is, I knew what he said)

(So I simply yelled out "Auf Wiedersehen dummkopf!")

(The 'Cons asked me what he said)

(I said "Google it.")

**Rule 292: **Don't make clicking noises with your tongue

(This rule is more for me)

(Though occasionally it's for the 'Cons too)

(I was up to 372 times before I heard yelling from the Rec Room)

**Rule 293: **Please don't bring up how short Earth's history is

(I made the mistake of saying something about rocks)

(Skywarp gave me a look and said, "Eh, that's nothin'. Our war is twenty times longer than that")

(Oh gee...)

(It takes a long time!)

**Rule 294: **No hay bale throwing contests

(Me: 300ft)

(Starscream: 1400ft)

(Dad: 2 682.227ft) (2999.99ft if you include how far he threw Starscream)

(Rumble: .022mm) (He was weak)

**Rule 295: **Plants are banned

(Ever since we watched Batman and Robin Lugnut has become more paranoid)

(He has ten cameras, a motion activated laser, barbed wire, sleep darts and a giant rock)

(Indiana Jones much?)

**Rule 296: **Never blurt out the following:

"Oh the simulated horror!" ( I was playing video games)

"I've never been to Denmark." (Uh...?)

"All people are equal. Some more than others."

"Don't. Touch. Me." (this gets some stares)

"I will not do that to you!"

**Rule 297: **Be careful around drunken 'Cons

(It...gets a little...intense)

(Some of those mechs get very perverted)

(I'm scarred for life)

**Rule 298: **Don't touch my posters!

(I bought all of them)

(I want to know where that miniscule tear came from)

(It's real small but I can see it)

**Rule 299: **No acting suspicious

(Trust me it never works)

(Try having a giant metal face just inches from you and see how long you fold)

(I lasted five minutes before I confessed)

(Damn it Dad!)  
**Rule 300: **Don't randomly make "Art Attacks"

(I was feeling creative)

(So I made a whole bunch around the base)

(I had to clean it up though)

(Took me hours!)

* * *

**AN: **All righty, regarding my story _Dysfunctional Family, _I have barely written Chapter 1 xD But expect it to be up within the next...four weeks! But updates will be slow with that one as I am also working on a TRON fan fiction as well. See my profile for deets.

Jazzi!


	20. Rules 301 to 317

Hello, Jazz1 Flynn here. Yes, I am aware of how long it's taken me to update. I apologize. When I was writing the One shot for 276 I got writer's block. Then I tried Rule 284 and failed also. So, I decided to just write a rule chapter. There will be no more one shots as of right now. I'm planning on finishing this story soon and working on Dysfunctional Family. There will be approximately 4-5 chapters left of this story depending on if I can figure out any more rules. I appreciate all the reviews, alerts, and favourites. :) If you have any rule suggestions, please tell me so I can write them in. It usually makes the updates go a little faster.

**Disclaimer: All Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks. I only own Tyrant and Lithium. **

* * *

**Rule 301: **Don't test the 'Cons patience

(Taking too long in the morning)

(Taking too long to get out of school)

(Taking longer than say, ten minutes)

**Rule 302: **No more Pokèmon games

(Somehow Astrotrain thought it'd be funny to make Charmander noises)

(I think it was because he tried to 'improve' the gaming experience)

(His only improvement was that he ended up screwing with his own processor)

**Rule 303: **Never throw bowling balls in the base

(They make lots of dents)

(_Lots _of dents)

(I almost broke my arm)

**Rule 304: **Please don't bring up mythical creatures

(The Kraken, the Yeti, El Chupacabra, Chimeras)

(The base was yet again on lockdown)

(I wasn't allowed near the ocean…or goats)

**Rule 305: **Eavesdropping is strictly prohibited

(I find out a lot of things)

(Most of the time I supposed to be asleep)

(I 've learned strategies on how to avoid Dad)

(They've worked quite well)

**Rule 306: **Alice in Wonderland is fictional!

(She's not on drugs!)

(The Jabberwocky doesn't exist)

(Tread, get your filthy servos off my Mad Hatter Hat)

**Rule 307: **"You're such a stupid head!"

(It makes anyone sound three years old)

(Would you believe Dad said this to Starscream?)

(Neither did I)

**Rule 308: **No using Cybertronian tech to erase memories

(They have developed this)

(I use it way too many times)

**Rule 309: **No live targets! (i.e. Me)

(Some 'Cons have a death wish)

(I have scorch marks on my face)

(The Brig was crowded that day)

(I single handily caused this)

**Rule 310: **Don't attempt telepathic communication

(It's really creepy)

(Soundwave snoops around my memories whenever he does it)

(I really need to work on getting that fixed)

(It's getting harder to act innocent)

**Rule 311: **No more seeing how long I can survive in city filled with Autobots

(It was just my luck that five of them were patrolling the city)

(I believe they were out to get me from the start)

(Not getting caught by anyone of them was a feat in itself)

**Rule 312: **I am no longer allowed to pull the hyper daughter routine

(I didn't think it was possible to make Dad glitch)

(I was wrong)

(Once again my brushes with severe injury have gone up)

(I almost fainted too)

**Rule 313: **No posting pictures of me in my robot mode online!

(Whoever did this is on my doomed list)

(I've had about 80 phone calls from random people)

(Twice the 'government' tried to interrogate me)

**Rule 314: **No quoting commercials

Axe (Rumble wouldn't stop saying 'Bom Chicka Wa Wa!)

Old Spice (Does this need a caption?)

DQ ("We don't just have rainbows, we have rainbows ON FIRE!")

**Rule 315: **I am forbidden from detaching my arm to scare 'Cons

(I managed to mess with Shockwave for about two hours)

(He insisted there were spiders in his quarters)

(I didn't have the Spark to tell him the truth)

**Rule 316: **Do no read my books on Gnomes or Faeries

(The base went on lock down again)

(I missed a lot of classes)

(It didn't help that my teachers were feeling rather sadistic that week)

(My personality was stuck on 'evil')

(Oh those poor unfortunate souls…)

**Rule 317: **Walking around blindfolded for no reason is not a great idea

(I spent about half an hour wandering the base)

(Somehow I ended up in Soundwave's room)

(Then I crashed right into him and broke my arm)

(Ow…)


	21. Rules 318 to 334

Hello, I'm back. Yes, it took me forever to write something up...but I have no excuses.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers and Transformers related characters belong to Hasbro, Paramount, and DreamWorks. I own Tyrant.

* * *

**Ru****le 318: **Never imitate what people do on YouTube

(It will result in certain death or injury)

(Plus the people who do those things are nuts)

(However, the 'Cons weren't really paying much attention to that)

(They usually do things on a more…dangerous…level)

(Oh that poor cow)

**Rule 319: **Chopping a tree down with a shovel is not recommended

(I tried it once)

(Someone caught me and asked if I was high/drunk/insane)

(I answered "No. No. What do you think?")

(That person edged away slowly)

**Rule 320: **No freeing big cats from the zoo

(What a day that was)

(Ravage made some new friends)

(They all ganged up on me)

(I now have bruises, claw marks, and lion spit all over me)

(It was hard to explain the footprints all over the floor)

**Rule 321: **Be careful when using the sticker maker

(I got carried away)

(Too carried away)

(More precisely I made 200)

(I put them everywhere too)

**Rule 322: **Do not quote Ice Age (any movie)

"Isn't (Tyrant) supposed to be the one with the hormonal imbalance?" (Guess when this was said?)

"From now on, you'll have to refer to me as (insert name), Lord of the Flame." (Blackout I really don't care how much firepower you have!)

"He's relentless. He knows all. Sees all! Eats all!" (I was hyper)

"Oh good, I thought it was something intimidating like 'Sheldon' or 'Tim'." (I said this to Sideways after he named his stupid gun again)

""For the record, I blame you for this." (This is everyone's new catch phrase)

**Rule 323: **I'm forever banned from the Nemesis

(After the other incident, Dad isn't taking any chances)

(I still managed to wreak havoc though)

(The ship nearly fell apart)

(In my defense, the thing bound to eventually)

**Rule 324: **Do not ask more than one random question per day

(I asked Swindle if he knew that the longest word in the English language is)

(He didn't)

(Later I asked Skywarp "When something is out of whack, what is a whack?")

(He doesn't have an answer either)

**Rule 325: **Hanging nets all over the base is forbidden

(The Seeker trine had a field day)

(They were panicking because they were grounded)

(I am so sadistic sometimes)

**Rule 326: **Do not spread rumors for entertainment purposes

(Barricade and I made one up about Dead End having a thing for Thunderblast)

(He wasn't seen for two weeks)

(When he did show up, someone told him it was my fault)

(I hid for a month before he calmed down)

**Rule 327: **Creating T-Shirts with different quotes should be kept at a minimum

"My personality is nothing compared to my dad's!" (I have yet to wear this around the base)

"Number 1 accomplishment: Ticking off giant evil robots and living." (This is my personal record)

"I survived the wrath of an angry F-22" (this is a feat in itself)

"Blame anyone within arm's reach."

"Unicron made me do it" (People ask me who that is a lot)

**Rule 328: **Never wearing glow-in-the-dark vampire fangs

(Despite popular belief, when awoken 'Cons have bad night vision)

(I scared Astrotrain)

(I'm half deaf)

**Rule 329: **Do not call Soundwave "Big Brother"

(Anyone who sees him calls him that as they run in the opposite direction)

(He knows it's my fault)

(It's always my fault)

(I regret nothing)

**Rule 330: **Please do not get in the way of a rampaging Scorponok

(Blackout didn't stop him)

(I was nearly run off)

(Everyone snickered at me)

(I just glared at them)

**Rule 331: **Decepticons cannot attend Comic Con. Ever.

(Skywarp got into an argument with some guy dressed as Superman)

(I had to drag him off)

(The guy didn't get the message however)

(He followed us until we 'disappeared')

**Rule 332: **Horror movies are banned

(When the 'Cons were watching Pyscho, they ended up getting their processors purged)

(I moved to Diego Garcia for a few weeks until everything settled)

(Despite the protests from several 'Bots and humans I might add)

**Rule 333: **Never lock me in a closet

(I will get my revenge)

(Especially when I have a crazy Dad on my side)

(Occasionally…)

**Rule 334: **Wandering off into the city unsupervised (as in me) is a bad idea

(I got in so much trouble)

(A few times I think the cops almost got me)

(But eh, somehow it was still worth it)

(Even though I nearly exposed who I was)

* * *

Well, I have an announcement: Dysfunctional Family is officially out! I only have one chapter up though. Good read it! (after you review this of course)


	22. Rules 335 to 351

Yeah...all I can say is, here another chapter. yeah.

**Disclaimer: **Transformers and Transformers related characters belong to Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks. I own Tyrant...yada yada yada...

* * *

**Rule 335: **I am not allowed to eat any coloured candy unless I warn the 'Cons

(My tongue was lime green for a week)

(The 'Cons were a little shocked whenever they saw)

(I was rushed to the med bay screaming "Dumbaft, its candy!")

**Rule 336: **Never say "I'm gonna eat this cat" even if there is no cat

(Ravage believed me and hid in the ceiling)

(I tried to stop him but it didn't work so well)

(Bad kitty!)

(He can't take a joke)

**Rule 337: **Never hide the energon

(This goes along with the "Don't let Tyrant near energon rule.")

(Decepticons can get really cranky)

(Kind of like humans who haven't had their coffee yet)

(But with more aggressiveness)

**Rule 338: **Don't give 'Cons ideas

(I was talking about jellyfish)

(The next morning I awoke with a giant tank in my room full of jellyfish)

(I was trapped in my room for a couple hours)

(How the Pit did someone get that many jellyfish?)

**Rule 339: **Writing all over my arms is forbidden

(I was really bored)

(Then I drew Cybertronian everywhere)

(Yeah, that wasn't such a good idea)

(Dad got really mad at me when he found out)

**Rule 340: **Don't drop anvils from great heights

(I dropped one on Bonecrusher)

(Didn't inflict any serious damage but he sure said some things)

(I can't really repeat them)

**Rule 341: **Sneaking up on random 'Cons and yelling "Pop goes the weasel!" is a bad idea

(I went flying into a wall again)

(This time I think I lost consciousness)

(There are bruises all over me)

(But the screaming was worth it)

(Sort of)

**Rule 342: **All images of Autobots and Decepticons are not to be distributed to the public

(N.E.S.T. just about killed me for doing that)

(It took me six hours! Six hours!)

(Too bad they didn't get all of them)

(You heard nothing)

**Rule 343: **Do not climb up the side of skyscrapers

(This applies to all 'Cons)

(It was hard to convince the new Dumbaft to get down)

**Rule 344: **Never create a blog about life with Decepticons

(I call it 'Living in the Pit')

(Everyone knows about it…which sucks)

(I became Public Enemy No. 1 again)

(Ah, whatever)

**Rule 345: **Whatever happens in the Harry Potter movies is not to be attempted in real life

(I caught Blitzwing try to get a broom off the ground)

(Scalpel wanted to create a Basilisk)

(He even got a chicken egg and a frog)

(Luckily I took the egg away before anyone could figure out if it worked)

**Rule 346: **If told 'hands off', don't touch it

(We've had several incidents where something important was destroyed)

(Add a couple more incidents of 'Cons loosing limbs)

(Walls coming down)

(Chaos in the streets)

(You name it…)

**Rule 347: **Comic books are fictional!

(That didn't convince Thundercracker)

(He wanted to try shooting lasers from his optics)

(yeah…that didn't go so well…)

**Rule 348: **"May the Fourth be with you"

(Everyone thought I had a lisp)

(No one got it for the longest time)

(These guys have direct access to Google and they still didn't get it…)

(Sheesh)

**Rule 349: **The answer to life the universe and everything is 42.

(Decepticons don't know math either)

(Some really believed there was more to it)

(I just sat back and let them think that)

**Rule 350: **Upon discovering a 'Cons secret stash of anything, don't tell everyone

(Said 'Con will usually swear a swift revenge)

(I got covered in green slime for finding out about Starscream's High Grade)

(A living nightmare if I ever had one)

**Rule 351: **Scaring the new arrivals is off limits

(Their reactions when I yelled "I'm gonna explode" were priceless)

(Some of them have this unhealthy fascination with blood though)

(I hid in my room for three weeks afterwards)


	23. Rules 352 to 368

All right, so I managed to come up with a decent chapter here but as of now, there's only one chapter left. The next few weeks will be really busy as school's almost over. I have exams and commencement stuff to deal with so regarding _Dysfunctional Family _updates will be slow but I hope to have a chapter up this week at some point.

**Disclaimer: **Blah, blah, blah...I don't own Transformers.

* * *

**Rule 352: **The following may not be used as a form of revenge:

(Severing Energon lines)

(Jamming a 'Con's sensors and going at him with a sledge hammer)

(Placing firecrackers in their alts)

(Letting loose a bunch of rats and blaming Starscream)

(Taking Frenzy's disc blades and using them to cut things)

(Replacing the missiles in anyone's weapons with paintball guns)

**Rule 353: **Never let a 'Con get a hold of "101 ways to annoy" list

(There are several for Dad and Starscream)

(I found a copy of one for me)

(It was pretty self-explanatory)

**Rule 354: **Do not take all the tape our of old cassettes

(It got all tangled in Frenzy's claws)

(Plus removing it from circuitry wasn't fun)

(I never want to see anymore again)

**Rule 355: **Running around proclaiming you're the ruler of the universe is not recommended

(This is only for Starscream)

(Everyone else knows better)

(And that's saying something)

(Considering how most of the 'Cons are pretty stupid)

**Rule 356: **When at Diego Garcia never threaten any of the humans

(Even if it's subtle)

(It's the unwritten law)

(Plus the last time I 'kidnapped' Leo the Chevy Twins have this personal vendetta against me)

(Not such a great thing let me tell you)

**Rule 357: **No more "You know you're (fill in the blanks) when…" lists

(We too many of those)

(However they do come in handy)

(Quite frequently might I add)

**Rule 358: **Don't try to talk with a mouth guard

(I sound like zombie)

(Seriously)

(I traumatized about ten 'Cons)

(They claim they still hear my messed up voice)

**Rule 359: **Keep a balance on how much you buy online

(Trample and Tread have the longest list)

(Mostly it's full of useless items)

(Like plane wings, sunglasses, Beanie Babies…)

(Those last items not so much)

**Rule 360: **Never replace my laptop with Laserbeak

(I swear whoever did this singlehandedly got themselves on two hit lists)

(Soundwave's and mine)

(We are plotting your demise as we speak)

**Rule 361:** Please don't compare anyone to characters from Wizard of Oz

(I've been labeled 'Evil Dorothy")

(Screamer is the "Wicked Witch of the West")

(Bone crusher, unfortunately, is the Tin Man)

**Rule 362: **No more Epic Rap Battles!

(Sheesh, there are too many…)

(I've had quite a few with the other 'Cons)

(Which is why I always win)

("Yo! Screamer! I'm sick of your face; you want to destroy the Cybertronian race. Give it up now, while you still can or Imma hand you to my Old Man!")

(Dad actually enjoyed that)

**Rule 363: **I am no longer allowed to take my sweet time after school

(This goes along with the 'Don't test a 'Con's patience' rule)

(Barricade is never nice when he's bored)

(A bored 'Cade is never a good thing)

(He gets creative in getting me out a.s.a.p.)

**Rule 366: **Stilettos are not to be used as weapons

(I got one lodged in Cyclonus' neck wiring)

(It shorted out his optics and made him fall down a lot)

(After Hook finally got it out he threw it at me)

(Which he missed)

**Rule 367: **Don't steal Beta!

(I've told the 'Cons a thousand times!)

(Beta does not like it)

(Not only that but I kind of need a phone…)

(He delights in being nasty)

**Rule 368: **The following Roulettes are banned

Russian (For obvious reasons)(Blackout just about glitched when he saw me) (I wasn't even playing it)

Roulette Wheel (Too much money was lost)

Travel (Where you spin a globe and randomly point to a place and that is the destination)(I ended up in Hugnary)


	24. Rules 369 to 385

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers

* * *

**Rule 369: **No acting paranoid just for the hell of it

(I kept it up for about 2 hours)

(Some of the Decepticons were smart enough not to listen to whatever I said)

(Those that didn't…well…they glitched)

**Rule 370: **Don't hug me.

(This should've been up sooner)

(No matter how happy you are, leave me alone)

(But the look on Dad's face when he saw Blackout smothering me was priceless!)

**Rule 371: **Copying everything I do/say/think is not allowed

(The Seekers have decided to decorate their doors with Justin Bieber posters…)

(Shockwave has taken up stamp collecting) (Nightmares there)

(I caught Bonecrusher talking to himself) (About what I'm not sure)

(A new word has been coined thanks to all this: Tyrantisms)

**Rule 372: **No more threats with dirty socks

(I swear I've never heard a scream so loud)

(Did anyone know that Brawl is also terrified of mud?)

**Rule 373: **Never expect a 'Con to tell you anything important (until the last second)

(I declared I was going to cliff dive into the ocean)

(Was actually about to do it when Starscream flew past, cackling)

(Only when I jumped did I find out why)

(There was a giant net at the bottom of the cliff)

(I was stuck for a long time)

**Rule 374: **Fainting to get out of anything won't work

(Decepticons have been known to just wait until you wake up)

(Their bedside manner sucks)

**Rule 375: **Never be without strategy

(Strategies have become the norm around here)

(They come in handy)

(Like the day I managed to create a tunnel leading from my room to outside)

(Believe me when I say it was hard to hide it from Soundwave)

**Rule 376: **Don't assume I'll help you out

"We? No, no, no you had your chance to be 'we' for like a year and a half now. Right now you are 'you' and you are scre-wed!" (I said this to Starscream)

**Rule 377: **Randomly deciding to be a pyromaniac is not a good idea

(Cylconus has been insane for as long as he's been online I'm sure)

(Certainly seems that way)

(He loves walking calmly into rooms, cackle loudly, then run as the room bursts into flames)

(Lucky for him there was nobody in there at the time)

**Rule 378: **Do not challenge Blitzwing to anything

(He gets really mad if he loses)

(Doesn't help when you get three opinions on the loss either)

(It's on YouTube now)

**Rule 379: **Never stack a bunch of chairs and try to climb them

(I got about half way before it fell on me)

(Nobody had the sympathy)

(Except 'Cade)

(But that's because I made him)

**Rule 380: **"Worst Dad in the world, never heard of him"

(_Tyrant…)_

(What? It's true!)

**Rule 381: **Do not attempt to master anything annoying

This includes:

*eye crossing (I made my optics short out)

*Random hand gestures (oh the pain!)

*high pitched screaming (Audios were shorted out for two weeks)

**Rule 382: **Don't go around destroying old buildings just because you feel like it

(It doesn't matter that it bugs you)

(Yes, it was old and crumbling but did you really need to make it look like an atom bomb went off?)

**Rule 383: **Never let yourself be caught on the news

(N.E.S.T. was having a field day)

(Blackout was caught climbing the Eifel Tower)

(In Vegas)

**Rule 384: **Never block off a good portion of the base and call it "My Zone"

(I think something's wrong with 'Screamer)

(He was pacing around muttering to himself)

(All I heard was "zone" and "pests")

**Rule 385: **Please don't yell out the following:

"They told me if I turned on this flashlight, I would die!" (All flashlights have disappeared)

"Are you all right? You know what, don't answer that. Of course you are! If not, too bad" (Bonecrusher hates it when I do that)

"Please jump into this pit. Don't ask why. Just do it!"

"Hello! This is the part where I kill you!" (I've said this to 'Bots and 'Cons)

"I'm gonna tell you once. Then you need to remember. There I've told you." (yeah...)


	25. Rules 386 to 402

No, I really don't have any excuses other than I've been really busy.

**Disclaimer: **All Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks. I own Tyrant. The weird 'Cons mentioned are from DOTM.

* * *

**Rule 386: **Don't interrupt me when I'm playing Angry Birds

(I tend to lash out frequently)

(It didn't help when Bonecrusher tried to steal my IPod for no reason)

(He hasn't been seen for three weeks now)

**Rule 387: **Enough spinning of the Lazy Susan!

(Several 'Cons spent hours watching it spin)

(I don't know what the appeal is)

(And then naturally, they did something stupid)

(They stuck me and the Cassetticons on it and spun it at high speeds)

(Someone got processed Energon on their servos)

(I don't envy them)

**Rule 388: **Tackle hugs are banned

(It only works so much)

(The unwritten law suggests it not be done to five foot tall Techno Organics by twenty feet tall robots)

(There are more dents in the floor than on me)

**Rule 389: **Never question Dead End's sanity

(He just sits there and laughs)

(For hours!)

(That and I discovered Skywarp lying on the floor, whimpering)

(He hasn't been the same since)

**Rule 390: **"Come to the Dark Side, we've got cookies!"

(They didn't have cookies)

(What a bunch of jerks!)

**Rule 391: **T.G.I.F!

(Yeah…)

(That was a disaster)

(I woke up to find my room trashed)

(A bunch of 'Cons were unconscious all around the base)

(I found pictures of the events)

(They were burned)

**Rule 392: **Exclaiming that Ravage is the Basement Cat is not to be encouraged

(Soundwave doesn't find it funny)

(Neither did Ravage)

(I had to wonder if the `Cons only have a sense of humour when someone gets hurt)

**Rule 393: **Also, yelling "You are charged with treason!" isn't a good idea either

(There's a new list of traitors)

(Some of them haven't arrived yet)

("How come Dad ended up on the list?")

**Rule 394: **Don't replace the floor with heavy duty trampolines

(It's amazing how high a 4 tonne robot can jump)

(I think it may have been better to do it to a building ready for demolition)

(I wasn't around to see it)

**Rule 395: **No blowing up Drain-o bombs

(The sound is _very _loud)

(That and it's considered a felony to do so)

(Not…that I did that)

**Rule 396: **Graffiting 'Fish' on the walls is no allowed

(I told you, I get really bored!)

(Nobody knew what the Fish was)

(It was nothing but who am I to tell them?)

**Rule 397: **Don't say anything stupid in front of Mieschers (my laptop)

(She has this freaky habit of recording things)

(I had a lovely time listening to a conversation between Trample and Tread)

(They were arguing about cheese)

(?)

**Rule 398: **Don't mess with the Dreads

(They tend to be very…clingy)

(I have nightmares about them)

(I swear they want me dead)

(Or at least "out of the picture")

(No matter what anyone says, I don't trust them!)

**Rule 399: **Never drool over Soundwave's new alt form

(I do it to annoy him)

(He knows I hate it)

(But, eh, gotta do something to tick off the telepathic psycho)

**Rule 400: **Regarding other "pets", don't mess with The Driller

(The Dreads are kittens compared to him)

(He lurks in the shadows when you least expect it and leaps at you)

(Well, just me anyway)

(Dad, no matter what you say, I'm not going near that thing!)

**Rule 401: **As much as it's fun, don't let Dad catch you talking about his…face

(He is getting more and more difficult to calm down)

(But at least he's easier to deal with than Blitzwing)

(And there's three of him)

(The base was partially destroyed…yet again)

**Rule 402: **Don't let the Decepticons find out about the warning labels on stuff

(Like 'Use like regular soap')

(Or 'May be hot when heated')

(They already think humans are stupid little insects)

(No need to encourage that)


	26. Rules 403 to 419

To answer the question, I'm not really sure how tall she is actually…

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Transformers.

* * *

**Rule 403:** No light up dresses!

(It gives Transformers processor aches)

(That and I wouldn't stop say "Trippin!")

(It's not the greatest thing to wear)

(Turns out blinking lights can short out optics)

**Rule 404: **Never run in high heels while being chased by 'Cons

(It usually means I'll come face to face with the floor)

(Soundwave then grabs me with his freaky tentacle things)

(That is not a pleasant feeling let me tell you!)

**Rule 405: **Musical clothing is banned

(After watching the Big Bang Theory Hook made me a musical shirt)

(It was bright neon green)

(At first it was pretty cool but then I overdid it)

(It lasted 6 minutes before someone stole it from me)

**Rule 406: **Don't question my throwing skills

(I can hurl a manhole cover like a Frisbee)

(For the record, that thing goes 100 miles an hour)

(It was fun until I hit 'Cade's windshield)

**Rule 407: **Do not hand in data pads written with invisible ink

(I swear there were words on it!)

(No one believed me)

(I spent all Saturday fixing it)

(That's really how I wanted to spent my weekend!)

**Rule 408: **Reading words on my clothes is no excuse to stare at me

(Dad went on another one of his infamous rampages)

(The smart ones hid)

(The dumb ones…well…they're out of commission)

(For a month)

(He's paranoid)

**Rule 409: **No using me as a test subject

('Cons are really evil)

(Some more than others)

(I had to do the oddest things)

(Walking into a room full of glitch mice

(Solve Cybertronian puzzles in less than a minute)

(Aced them)

**Rule 410: **Pretending to make a shoe box talk is no excuse to buy shoes

("Please buy us. We love you!")

("No, I can't. It's too much!")

("But Tyrant you look so good in us.")

("Damn the shoes are right.")

**Rule 411: **No pillow forts

(I don't want to know how Shockwave got all those pillows)

(The 'Cons are complete klutzes)

**Rule 412: **Rigging a dumpster to explode is not the best way to pass time

('Cons really need to get a life)

(The school's already getting suspicious)

(I might have to leave)

(Hmm…)

**Rule 413: **Changing small things in the daily schedule will cause hysteria

(I honestly can`t believe it)

(But apparently changing the order of my morning routine made the `Con Twins think they were dreaming)

(It was very quiet)

**Rule 414:** Never leave me in empty elevator shafts

(It`s really dark)

(Plus I think it was haunted)

(By the time someone found me I ran out screaming "The end is nigh!")¸

(I had to go through therapy)

**Rule 415: **Attempting to read things out of books like in Inkheart doesn`t work

(None of the 'Cons can read human literature)

(So they made me do it)

(When nothing happened, they began kidnapping random people)

(Still hasn't worked)

**Rule 416: **Don`t let the `Cons find out about loony laws

*In Chicago, it's illegal to eat in a place on fire (Don't make me test that!)

*In a certain city it's illegal to pick up used confetti

*It's illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole

*You can't herd more than 200 sheep down Hollywood Blvd

**Rule 417: **Don't spray paint the 'Con Twins rock collection

(Colours confused them)

(Tread thought the gold rock was gold)

(I was gone by the time they found out)

**Rule 418: **Never say the following within earshot of any `Cons

*I`m going to cause a little mayhem and the turn in. (I saw several pairs of optics watching in anticipation)

*Yeah? Well, at I don`t sound like a deranged parrot! (I was mad at Screamer)

*It`s raining acorns and snowing rabbits! (don`t ask)

*There are two things I hate: the truth, and your face!

**Rule 419: **"Is it possible to run out of space?"

(Apparently not)

(That`s what subspace is for)


	27. Rules 420 to 436

Jazz1 Flynn here with Chapter 28. Please read to the very bottom of the page to read the author's note.

**Disclaimer: **All Transformers and Transformers related characters are property of Hasbro, Paramount and DreamWorks.

***I added some extra lines, that's why it's the same chapter***

* * *

**Rule 420: **Never let the Decepticons know about 4/20

("So, humans gather to smoke narcotics?")

(Something like that)

(I was put on house arrest 'just in case')

(What's worse is that this gave the Decepticons some excuse to push me into a lake over and over)

(I'm taking swimming lessons now)

**Rule 421: **If anyone asks, lie

(It's our new motto)

(Works quite well actually)

(…with most 'Cons anyway…)

(Soundwave still reads minds)

(He's a cheat)

**Rule 422: **The game "Duck, Duck, Goose" is banned

(After a while it gets tedious)

("Duck…Duck…Duck…Duck…Duck")

(However it's fun to watch the Decepticons collide!)

(Poor Thundercracker)

(He can't walk properly)

**Rule 423: **Never do the following to get out of school

*Hiding from your mode of transportation (Soundwave had to drive me for a week while Barricade went somewhere)

*Pretending to go to class and then walk the other way (I get caught 90% of the time)

*Send the 'Cons on a wild goose chase to find you hiding somewhere (They still don't know how I did it)

*Get one of the 'Cons to call in sick for you (They may be evil, but they really appreciate education) (Huh...)

**Rule 424: **Remember, it wouldn't matter when you pay Skywarp

(It's one of the few idiosyncrasies that doesn't make you want to, you know, kill him)

(Plus he's got so much cash he can't keep track of it)

(He's the cash cow)

(Where he got the money, that's classified)

**Rule 425: **Don't get in the way of my target practice

(I'm addicted to paintballing)

(So I tend to go…crazy)

(Brawl has a new paintjob)

(I had to hide my stuff shortly afterwards)

("You little fragging' freak! It's gonna take me weeks to get this off!")

(Oh please, it took you three days last time)

(He's channeling the Lambo Twins, I'm sure of it)

**Rule 426: **I now have to moderate what I draw on my binders

(All the quotes were starting to scare people)

(Especially the "To Punish and Enslave")

(I also drew the Decepticon logo on just about everything I own)

(Yeah, no one was too happy about that)

(I can't keep secrets!)

(Like how I saw Bonecrusher messing around with the hatchlings on the Nemesis)

(Oops)

**Rule 427: **Just because part of the couch is missing, does not give you the right to crouch

(The Seekers look more like vultures when they do that)

(Also, it annoys everyone else)

(Not that the 'Cons aren't always annoyed)

(They have to be)

(It's part of their daily lives)

**Rule 428: **All human dates must be monitored (carefully)

(Dad really believes I'm defenseless)

(Even after I drop kicked the last boy who tried to date me)

(So now he makes Soundwave record everything)

(I only let him so he doesn't lecture me)

(Other than that, I hate him…)

(That poor boy didn't know what hit him)

(He tried to turn himself in to the insane asylum)

**Rule 429: **Never research Autobot history

(I've been voted 'most likely to be a double agent')

(Decepticon history is really boring)

(Destroy stuff, conquer, ravage…repeat)

(Don't they have anything interesting?)

**Rule 430: **Don't steal Thunderblast's mirror

(She tends to tear the base apart looking for it)

(The good news is, whenever she tattles on me, nobody believes her)

(We all have this mutual agreement that she is indeed, a first class beeotch)

(That and she has this annoying high pitched voice)

**Rule 431: **Simple childish pranks are banned

(I put water balloons in front of all the doors)

(There was a big line to get into the med bay)

(Hook is out to get me now)

(How was I supposed to know that water balloons can screw up internal wiring)

**Rule 432: **Don't mix Energon with sleeping pills

(It causes an energy overload followed by an instant crash!)

(I don't remember anything)

(All I can see is that a lot of mechs have hand sized dents in their armor)

(My mirror has a bunch of scribbles on it )

(In some indescribable language)

**Rule 433: **Never run away yelling "There's no place like home!"

(This only happens when one of two things happens)

(1: Someone has been locked in a room for three weeks)

(2: All right, who was doing what and who saw them)

(Actually, there's a third thing but I can't put it in)

(The touch screen keyboard is stuuu-cckk)

(DAMN YOU TECHNOLOGY!)

**Rule 434: **Please inform someone (i.e. Dad, Soundwave...etc) before altering one's appearance for any reason

(This day will always be remembered)

(Thundercracker decided one day to walk in looking like a zombie 'Con)

(He was used a target practice again)

(That was after they found out who it was)

**Rule 435: **There are only so many hissy fits before people think you've gone insane

(I don't need a caption for this)

**Rule 436: **No Secret Agent Laser Obstacle Chess

(Play at your own risk!)

(Several Decepticons ended up broken)

(I almost got squished)

(Dad doesn't let me out of his sight)

(It's starting to creep me out)

* * *

Author's Note: I bet you're all wondering the same thing: Why isn't this person writing the next chapter of Dysfunctional Family? Well, here's the reason: I need to have more spare time to write it and, quite frankly, I'm not even sure how I came up with these chapters. But rest assured, once this thing is finished (which will be soon) I will work on the other story. Look for something in the next week.


	28. Rules 437 to 453

All right, I just want to let everyone know, I still care about these stories and I intend to finish them. I will update Dysfunctional Family soon.

**Meowmeow98, **I will try to write up a one shot for the final chapter of Glitchhead's Guide (Rule 434). Yes, this story is one chapter away from being completed. I will work on my other story and hopefully get another story up eventually. Thanks for the support!**  
**

* * *

**Rule 437: **Never perform any of the suggestions in the "Ways to Tick People off in an Elevator"

(I only said Rumble couldn't do any of them)

(I wasn't actually suggesting he take it seriously)

(He decided to do the one where you stare at someone and then yell "YOU'RE ONE OF THEM!")

(Luckily for him the elderly woman was not paying attention to what he looked like)

(Didn't stop her from whacking him across the shins with her cane)

(Left a surprisingly large dent)

**Rule 438: **Please do not turn the base into a deadly obstacle course

(If you do, going overboard is highly discouraged)

(It was like a crossover between Portal 2 and…um…deadly lava pits)

(Almost everyone made it out in once piece)

(Except Blitzwing)

(He came out in ten)

**Rule 439: **Be cautious when a particular 'Con is in a strangely good mood

(Chances are it's for the wrong reasons)

(Someone is either incapacitated or a prank of epic proportions is about to take place)

(Whatever the cause, always watch your back)

(The last poor son of a gun who didn't ended up in stasis for a month)

**Rule 440: **Never bother trying to explain randomness

(The Decepticons cannot grasp such an outrageous concept)

(It gives me a headache telling them that random does not necessarily mean anything serious)

(However, to prevent loss of sanity, please do not tell Soundwave)

(He will spend hours trying to prove that theory wrong)

**Rule 441: **When creating anything 'experimental' please inform your superiors (a.k.a Dad, Soundwave)

(The last incident involved Scalpel trying to merge different animal DNA)

(Whatever the thing was, it was cute but then it started spitting acid)

(And it had wicked sharp claws)

(Poor thing had to be taken away)

(Can't believe that crab-bot named it Jerry)

(Also insisted it was harmless.)

("Eet ees cohmpletleey 'armless. Vill do nuzthing!")

(That's what you think)

(Damn thing bit my leg)

**Rule 442: **If you wish to keep things private, don't talk about it constantly

(It usually means a 'mandatory' search of the base)

(I hate taking everything out of my room just to prove I'm not harbouring any fugitives or explosives)

(You'd be amazed at what Blackout keeps in his quarters)

**Rule 443: **In order to get yourself out of a possible aft kicking, remember the following:

Starscream (Stroke his ego. Trust me; it works 99.9% of the time) (But remember to run away before you start hearing the victory speeches)

Shockwave (Hit him with complicated mathematic equations or simply yell utter nonsense) (He usually crashes at the utter nonsense)

Frenzy (Tell him someone else stole his coffee) (Works every time!)

Dad (Good luck with that one!) (Trade secrets)

**Rule 444: **Don't say that Shockwave looks like a computer with legs

(The 'Cons mention it behind his back)

(Bold ones say it to his face)

(I was _thisclose_ to actually doing that)

(Chickened out at the last second)

**Rule 445: **Photo-editing is banned

(Someone got a hold of a picture of 'Screamer with his arms raised)

(The next morning there were lightning bolts shooting from his fingers)

(The wall version was painted over)

(I still have the original copy)

**Rule 446: **Never compare the Beldam's needle fingers with Dad's claws

(Skywarp yelled "Needle Fingers!" to his face)

(I'm still shuddering after seeing that menacingly cold glare)

(Skywarp hasn't been seen for several days)

(I'm scared)

**Rule 447: **Don't trust the words "It's perfectly safe."

(Means it isn't)

**Rule 448: **Don't quote Danny Bhoy

(I managed to get a bunch of 'Cons addicted to watching)

"The bagpipes: the missing link between noise and sound." (Nobody likes the bagpipes)

"'Bring me a vital organ! Bring me a vital organ!" (Scalpel once against trying to create 'life')

"Paranoia is a bad personality trait for a comedian; what are you laughing at?" (I say this too much)

"Hello, there seems to be a small dinosaur in my room. An the guy said, 'Yeah mate, yeah that's a Gecko!' AND HE HUNG UP! I rang back and said 'hello, yes it wasn't a trivia question!'" (I'm fascinated with geckos)

"Crushed grapes" (That's all it was)

"Cut the crap! YOU know you've moved and I know you've moved! Right? Don't look all innocent, pal." (Barricade said this to me when I was trying not to be noticed by standing still)

**Rule 449: **Cussing near the hatchlings will not be tolerated

(I started having a heated argument with someone who called me)

(They wouldn't hang up)

(Without realizing who was next to me I yelled into the receiver "Look you fragging glitch pit spawn heap of ambulatory sludge, shut your slagging mouth!")

(As soon as the call was over I heard a high pitched "Fragging glitch pit spawn!")

(I ran away after saying "Don't say that!")

**Rule 450: **Wearing night vision goggles while playing laser tag in the dark is not cheating!

(I don't have advanced robot eyesight)

(Despite having one optic)

(I think they're mad because they no longer have the upper hand)

**Rule 451: **It`s perfectly common for humans to yell loudly for no apparent reason

(I yelled "Fruit loops!" during breakfast) (Wasn't eating cereal)

(During a meeting I started getting really bored so I began saying "The monkeys are out to get me") (I got kicked out)

("We attack head on at sunset!") (No one appreciates my battle plans)

("You, yeah you, the one with the glowing eyes, drop and give me fifty!") (I was feeling particularly mean that day)

**Rule 452: **Flinging globs of paint at passing mechs is immature and stupid

(Who said anything about me being mature?)

**Rule 453: **Don't use positive reinforcement for 'good behaviour'

(I found myself being given chocolate by Soundwave whenever I did things properly)

(Didn't think anything of it until I got squirted in the face with water)

(Turns out it wasn't water)

(It was some Cybertronian liquid that freezes people temporarily)

(My face hurts)

* * *

If anyone wants to submit any ideas for more rule one-shots, then I might do a separate story in the future with those suggestions. If not, we'll see what happens.

A.T.


	29. Rules 454 to 470

All right, so I couldn't write the one shot. But I will! However, with that being said, this story is now over. There will probably not be a sequel at all or for so time. So thank you to everyone who reviewed, favourited and all the alerts. Thank you for your support over the past four months. I know I didn't make it to 500 rules.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except Tyrant. Thanks to _Turdy1 _for suggesting Skippy's List.

* * *

**Rule 454: **Children cannot be arrested for being rude

('Cade was disappointed with this one)

(What happened was, he was on patrol and this little kid walked up to his alt form)

(The kid started tapping on the doors quite rapidly)

(I had to pull his holoform away from the startled child before a scene could start)

**Rule 455: **Old English is not to be used for every day speech

(Or anything else for that matter)

(I started quoting Shakespeare whenever someone asked me questions)

(The quotes had nothing to do with the question)

**Rule 456: **Never try to end a conversation by covering your ears and grimacing

(I foolishly did this to Dad)

(In my defense he was talking _so _much)

(Heard it all a thousand times)

(Unfortunately, he loves to get his point across by yelling really loudly)

(My ears are still numb)

**Rule 457: **Kicking will not get a 'Con's attention

(Well, it will but they'll be too busy laughing at your pain to care)

(I constantly forget this)

**Rule 458: **Never say that dandelion seeds are actually parasitic organisms

(I brought one inside the base and started blowing on the seeds)

(All Decepticons in the vicinity made hasty retreats)

(Some of them bashed into each other)

(Lugnut was the most terrified)

(This nearly caused the apocalypse)

**Rule 459: **Don't quote _Back to the Future _(any of them)

"There's that word again; "heavy". Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?" (Nobody takes sarcasm as a joke anymore)

"You're late; do you have no concept of time?" (Why must everyone patronize me?)

"We all make mistakes in life, children." (This was followed by a very tedious lecture)

"Look. There's a rhythmic ceremonial ritual coming up." (It's called a 'dance' people!)

"Silence earthling! My name is Darth Vader. I am an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan!" (That's it, no more Science Fiction movies) (Those aren't even from the same franchise!)

"Let me show you my plan for sending you home. Please excuse the crudity of this model; I didn't have time to build it to scale or to paint it." (That's really helpful Wheeljack!) (He caught me snooping around N.E.S.T.) (You almost killed me!)

**Rule 460: **You cannot trade guard shifts with the voices in your head.

(Damn)

(When this failed for me about three other Decepticons tried it)

(Worked for one of them)

**Rule 461: **Never release ducks inside the base

(I spent over an hour trying to round them all up)

(There were feathers all over the place)

(I can still hear that ceaseless quacking!)

**Rule 462: **No matter how quiet you are, the hatchlings will in fact hear you

(I was practically tip-toeing past the gestation pods and one of them tackled me)

(You could be a first class freakin' ninja, and those little fiends can hear you)

**Rule 463: **No experiments with Artificial Intelligence

(It was called LARR-E)

(Likeable. And. Really. Really. Evil.)

(He was nice at first, then betrays you at the last second)

(Keeps calling me a 'poor, insignificant piece of technology')

(I reprogrammed him to say random phrases like "CAKE SNIFFERS!")

**Rule 464: **Never use any 'Con to perform outrageous stunts in public

(It was fun to see the looks on everyone's faces when I managed to get 'Cade into two wheels)

(With the doors open)

**Rule 465: **When suffering from multiple mosquito bites, just shut up and don't say anything

(I made the mistake of yelling "Darn that bloodsucking little fragging insignificant immoral…blah, blah, blah…")

(I ranted for several hours)

(Finally Dad just grabbed me and locked me in my room)

(Didn't shut me up though)

**Rule 466: **If you see a black photo copier, run

(Chances are its Laserbeak)

(He does not appreciate the settings stuck on extra dark, 99 copies)

(He also does not like me photocopying things for no reason)

**Rule 467: **Do not attempt any 'Home Alone' booby traps

(Whoever gave this idea to Frenzy is so doomed!)

(I entered my room only to have a bunch of paint cans fly at me)

(Didn't do any damage…much)

(I just have a new colour)

**Rule 468: **Never say "Give me one good reason why not!"

(You will get about sixteen reasons)

(All of which are not in your favour)

**Rule 469: **"SPAAACCCEE!"

(Enough said)

**Rule 470: **Running around telling everyone you have a secret is not recommended.

(They will hold you to it)

(When they find out you've got nothing the 'Cons tend to flip out)

(Their methods of persuasion are quite…unpleasant)


End file.
